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Everybody Loves Pizza
Written by Rudy on April 15, 2011 - 9:06 am -A new study conducted by scientists of a renowned Nigerian university has found that reading the Rudy Report increases your chances of winning the lottery by almost 5%, which is nice and expected today on "National Art History Day." One of Rudy's favorite meals is pizza. Why? Because it is delicious. Well, most of the time, unless you go to this place right here...
Kobe Bryant has been fined $100,000 for a homophobic slur. He responded to the fine by saying "That's gay." Anyways, Chelsea FC is said to be interested in signing Guus Hiddink as coach for next season. In baseball, the Mets gave their fans two opportunities to hate their own team: first they lost against Colorado, and then, later in the day, they lost against Colorado again... And, in the NBA, the Knicks will take on Boston on Sunday in Game 1 of the playoffs.
The Rudy Report says Happy Birthday to Ilya Kovalchuk, Milton Bradley, Jason Sehorn, and Luxembourgish cycling sensation Frank Schleck. On this day in 1892, the General Electric Company was formed. Have a great weekend, there is still the Dear Rudy about sports ownership, and learn something interesting about Christmas in New York in the Random Fact section!
Moving Coyote - After years of struggles in Arizona, new reports suggest that the Phoenix Coyotes could finally be on the move to Canada. Read here.
Newspaper Stake - A new disclosure reveals that the New York Times is the second largest stakeholder in Premier League club Liverpool FC. Read here.
Fan Power - The person who wants the fans to own the Toronto Maple Leafs claims that he has raised $100 million so far for a bid. Read here.
Buying More - Asian investor Carson Yeung has increased his ownership stake in British soccer club Birmingham City to 24.9%. Read here.
Daring Question
Written by Rudy on April 14, 2011 - 8:39 am -The Rudy Report would like to remind you that we are only 10 months away from Valentine's Day, which means that you better start making reservations if you still want to get a table in New York, today on "National Elephant Day." As you know, Dear Rudy is one of the most popular sections of the Rudy Report. We get great questions all the time. If you have one on your mind, don't hesitate and ask! Don't be afraid! Like this guy right here...
Spain remains the number one ranked soccer team in the world. Meanwhile, Liverpool FC seems to be interested in signing Bayern Munich striker Mario Gomez. In the Champions League, German team Schalke beat Inter Milan, and Real Madrid advanced against Tottenham. Schalke will now face Manchester United in the semifinals. Real will play against Barcelona. In the NBA, Boston beat the Knicks. In baseball, the Yankees beat Baltimore, while the Mets lost against Colorado. And, in the NHL playoffs, the Rangers had a tough overtime loss against Washington in Game 1 of the series.
The Rudy Report says Happy Birthday to Kyle Farnsworth, Anderson Silva, Roberto Ayala, Brad Ausmus, David Justice, Pete Rose, and Gaelic football legend Mickey "Ned" O'Sullivan. On this day in 1828, Noah Webster copyrighted the first edition of his dictionary. Have a great day, there is still the Dear Rudy about sports ownership, and learn something about executives that you may know already in the Random Fact section!
Keeping The Stake - Russian billionaire Alisher Usmanov says that he will not sell his ownership stake in Arsenal London to Stan Kroenke. Read here.
Power Player - Hedge fund billionaire Steve Cohen is yet another bidder ready to make a bid for a minority stake in the New York Mets. Read here.
Team Influx - A new report examines the potential effects of having a large number of National Hockey League franchises in Canada. Read here.
A Word On Brooklyn
Written by Rudy on April 13, 2011 - 8:24 am -The Rudy Report is proud to announce that Rudy has been confirmed once again as the Supreme Leader at this year's Annual Rudy Report Meeting, receiving 100% of positive votes, today on "National Blame Someone Else Day." A recent Rudy Report tweet has sparked some controversy. It read: "I'd rather live inside of Reactor 3 in Fukushima than move to Brooklyn. If you think that's harsh, then you haven't been to Brooklyn." Rudy doesn't understand the uproar. Maybe you'll understand when you look at Brooklyn's infamous inhabitants. This is just a random sample...
The New York Jets may be interested in signing Randy Moss if next season takes place. Manchester United and FC Barcelona are the first two teams that qualified for the Champions League semifinals. The other two teams will be determined today. Rudy was the top celebrity in the crowd at the Knicks-Bulls game. They result was some real bullsh**t. The Bulls won the game easily. And, in baseball, the Yankees game versus Baltimore was postponed, while the Mets game was also postponed due to rain and/or general misery.
The Rudy Report says Happy Birthday to Baron Davis, Carles Puyol (just as bad as Charl), Davis Love III, Rudi Voeller, and American basketball maverick Bo Outlaw (get it?!?!). On this day in 1870, the Metropolitan Museum of Art was founded. Have a great day, there is the new Dear Rudy about banning people from sports ownership, and learn something about Paris that you didn't know in the Random Fact section!
Tough Sell - A fan group has already stated that they will not sell their shares to Stan Kroenke, making a takeover of Arsenal London slightly more difficult. Read here.
Talking Again - The NFL and the Players' Association are back in mediation talks to find a solution so that next season can get back on track. Read here.
Shopping Spree
Written by Rudy on April 12, 2011 - 9:25 am -The Rudy Report is still flabbergasted that not one person from South Dakota, but hundreds of people in France, have visited the website, which can only be explained by a complete and utter absence of the internet in this lonely, lonely state, today on "National Look Up at the Sky Day." Anyways, you have probably been thinking of buying some clothes for the summer. Hurry up before others grab what you want. Shopping season is on...
Famous US athlete Carl Lewis has announced that he wants to run for state senate in New Jersey, which is weird, because usually people would want to run from New Jersey. The Champions League quarterfinals will continue later today. And, in baseball, the Mets lost against Colorado.
The Rudy Report says Happy Birthday to Brad Miller, Ted Ginn Jr., Roman Hamrlik, Paul Lo Duca, Adam Graves, and Italian Formula One enfant terrible Flavio Briatore. On this day in 1955, the polio vaccine, developed by Dr. Jonas Salk, was declared safe and effective. Have a great day, check out a brand-new Dear Rudy about people that should be banned from owning a sports team, and learn something about walking to work in the Random Fact section!
Stan Has Got It - After years of board room shuffles, Stan Kroenke has finally made a bid to take control of Premier League club Arsenal London for $1.2 billion. Read here.
Still Looking - Executives at the Atlanta Thrashers are saying that the search for a new franchise owner may take longer than anticipated. Read here.
Talking About Hornets - Former New Orleans Hornets owner George Shinn is talking about the sale of the franchise to the NBA and previous attempts to sell the team. Read here.
Limo Etiquette 101
Written by Rudy on April 11, 2011 - 9:16 am -The Rudy Report can neither confirm, nor deny rumors that the European Union has asked Rudy for a comprehensive bailout, because the situation remains fluid, today on "National Name Yourself Day." Prom season is coming up soon and some of the younger readers may want to order a limo to take them to the dance. However, make sure to behave inside the vehicle, and, if you live in a hilly neighborhood, make sure your car will be able to actually get you there...
Okay, so the guy with the - hands down - dumbest name in the tournament won the Masters: Charl Schwarzel (His name is incomplete! Did his parents fall asleep halfway through naming him? Sounds very douchy...). Anyways, he joins a long list of other famous people named Charl: Charl Schwab, Charl Sheen, Charl Brown, Charl Norris, or Charl Chaplin. In the Premier League, Chelsea, ManU, and Arsenal won. Liverpool will play against ManCity tonight. In baseball, the Mets lost against Washington. The Yankees probably beat Boston, but then again, who's checking?!?! In the NBA, the Knicks beat Indiana. And, in the NHL, the Rangers beat New Jersey on Saturday, which was just enough to qualify for the playoffs. Congratulations!
The Rudy Report says Happy Birthday to Mark Teixeira, Trevor Linden, Chris Ferguson, Marcello Lippi, and Armenian weightlifting legend Ashot Danielyan. On this day in 1905, Albert Einstein revealed his Theory of Relativity; a fairly easy concept of geometric theory explaining space-time in relation to the curvature of four-momentum matter in a system of partial differential equations. If everything in life was that easy... Have a great week, there is no new Dear Rudy right now, but learn something about Hong Kong that you didn't know in the Random Fact section!
Got It Done - Billionaire Tom Gores has successfully signed a tentative agreement to purchase the Detroit Pistons from Karen Davidson for $420 million. Read here.
Elite Eight - A new report concludes that there are eight bidders now for a minority stake in the New York Mets, which could lead to a higher price. Read here.
Waiting For A Vote - Minnesota Vikings executives are still hopeful that politicians will approve plans for a new taxpayer funded NFL stadium. Read here.
Growing Opposition - The Los Angeles Lakers are set to oppose a planned move of the Sacramento Kings to Anaheim, which could be a significant road block. Read here.