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Today May 26, 2016

Waterproof

Written by Rudy on September 29, 2014 - 6:44 am -

The Rudy Report would like to welcome you to the last week of September and the first week of October, which Rudy traditionally celebrates as "Rocktober", today on "National Crush a Can Day." Anyways, pool season is basically over in most parts of the country, unless you happen to live in Florida, but either way, if you go take a dip in the pool, make sure to follow certain important rules....

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At the Ryder Cup, Europe beat the United States with a comfortable margin of victory once again. Bayern Munich is said to be interested in Arsenal midfielder Mesut Ozil. In the Premier League, Chelsea, ManU, and ManCity won their respective games, while Liverpool had a draw. The North London Derby between Arsenal and Tottenham also ended in a 1-1 draw. In baseball, the New York Yankees beat Boston in Derek Jeter's final game, while the Mets beat Houston. And, in the NFL, the New York Jets lost against Detroit.

The Rudy Report says Happy Birthday to Kevin Durant, Calvin Johnson, Per Mertesacker, Andriy Shevchenko, John Paxson, and Botswana's sprinting sensation Isaac Makwala. On this day in 1789, the first United States Congress adjourned. Have a great week, there is still the new Dear Rudy about ESPN and what is still appropriate to say in public, and you can learn something interesting about dwarfs in Spain in the Random Fact section!

Financial Sanctions - Several European soccer clubs, including Liverpool and Roma, could face sanctions due to Financial Fair Play violations. Read here.

Lineup

Written by Rudy on September 26, 2014 - 8:25 am -

The Rudy Report would like to point out that if the NFL's crime streak continues, better football will be played in prison leagues, than in the NFL, today on "National Hug a Vegetarian Day." Anyways, not every national soccer team in the world has enough professional players. Some smaller countries, like Gibraltar or France, have to field amateurs that have normal day jobs....

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Real Madrid is said to be interested in Liverpool star Raheem Sterling. On Thursday Night Football, the New York Giants defeated the Washington Redskins. And, in baseball, the New York Yankees beat Baltimore in Derek Jeter's final home game with Jeter hitting a walk-off single, while the Mets lost against Washington.

The Rudy Report says Happy Birthday to Daniel Sedin, Henrik Sedin, Michael Ballack, Joe Nemechek, and Kenyan marathon running legend Robert Kipkoech Cheruiyot. On this day in 1580, Sir Francis Drake finished his circumnavigation of the Earth. Have a great weekend, there is brand-new Dear Rudy about Bill Simmons and political correctness, and you can learn how to find your closest shelter in the Random Fact section!

Lost Interest - Investment company Cain Hoy Enterprises is no longer interested in buying Premier League club Tottenham Hotspur.  Read here.

Cricket Finance - Lancashire Country Cricket Club will become the first cricket club to fund an expansion by selling bonds worth almost $5 million. Read here. 

Wedding DJs

Written by Rudy on September 25, 2014 - 6:34 am -

We would like to congratulate you for opening the Rudy Report in order for you to look busy at work while you read it, today on "National One Hit Wonder Day." Anyways, a good DJ can make or break a wedding. We all know that. And if a DJ is not good enough, guests could get angry....

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Expect to see a special haircut on Rickie Fowler today at the Ryder Cup. ESPN has suspended Bill Simmons for three weeks after he challenged his bosses and made inappropriate remarks about NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell. And, in baseball, the New York Yankees lost against Baltimore, while the Mets game against Washington got postponed.

The Rudy Report says Happy Birthday to Matt Hasselbeck, Aldon Smith, Chauncey Billups, Tony Womack, Scottie Pippen, Henri Pescarolo, and German soccer legend Karl-Heinz Rummenigge. On this day in 1926, the NHL granted franchises to the Chicago Blackhawks and the Detroit Red Wings. Have a great day, there is no new Dear Rudy right now, but you can learn something interesting about your brain in the Random Fact section!

Toronto Double - NHL Commissioner Gary Bettman thinks that a second franchise in Toronto is only possible if the Maple Leafs remain unsuccessful on the ice. Read here.

Gift Return - A new report suggests that retiring Yankees star Derek Jeter will have to pay two innings worth in taxes for all the gifts that he received during his farewell tour. Read here.

Turnaround - National Hockey League franchise Florida Panthers expects a lower attendance as the owners try to turn the fates of the club around. Read here.

Live Games

Written by Rudy on September 24, 2014 - 6:18 am -

With only three months to go until Christmas, the Rudy Report would like to remind you that the doors at Target and Walmart will open soon for Black Friday 2016, today on "National Wife Appreciation Day." Anyways, everyone loves watching sports, but cable TV can be expensive. So it always helps to have a friend in the stadium... with a computer... and Skype....

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Manchester United has already spent nearly $250 million on new player signings this season and plans to spend an additional $160 million once the new transfer window opens, according to former player Phil Neville. The Ryder Cup is set to begin tomorrow at Gleneagles in Scotland. And, in baseball, the New York Yankees lost against Baltimore, while the Mets had a loss against Washington.

The Rudy Report says Happy Birthday to Drew Gooden, Stephanie McMahon, Eddie George, Rafael Palmeiro, and American gymnastics twins Paul and Morgan Hamm. On this day in 1948, Honda Motor Company was founded in Tokyo. Have a great day, there is no new Dear Rudy at the moment, but you can learn something very interesting about China in the Random Fact section!

New Shirts - The CEO of Major League Baseball franchise San Francisco Giants is convinced that the league will allow for shirt sponsorships soon. Read here.

Party Time

Written by Rudy on September 23, 2014 - 5:47 am -

The Rudy Report would like to point out that it is never your successful friends that are posting inspirational quotes on social media, like today on "National Elephant Appreciation Day." Anyways, Rudy hopes you celebrate reading this report every day. We certainly do. And not every party has to be wild and rowdy....

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There are more and more rumors that the 2022 World Cup will not be taking place in Qatar as planned due to high temperatures and health risks for players. Liverpool is said to be interested in Manchester City goalkeeper Joe Hart. On Monday Night Football, the New York Jets played against Chicago. There are no winners when these two teams play. And, in baseball, the New York Yankees beat Baltimore.

The Rudy Report says Happy Birthday to Chris Johnson, Joba Chamberlain, Matt Kemp, Matt Hardy, Larry Mize, Marty Schottenheimer, and Australian jockey legend Brett Prebble. On this day in 1962, Lincoln Center opened in New York City. Have a great day, there is no new Dear Rudy right now, but you can learn a certain kind of fear that many people have in the Random Fact section!

Spending Spree - The profit of Premier League club Arsenal London has declined significantly last year due to heavy investments in new players. Read here.