Recent Comments

Today August 28, 2015

The Rudy Report Athlete Of The Year 2013

Written by Rudy on December 20, 2013 - 7:34 am -

This is the last Rudy Report of the year (and boy do we have a great edition for you) before embarking on our Annual Winter Break, but we will return on Monday, January 20th, 2014 at a time when you will have thrown all your New Year's resolutions over board, but not today on "National Sangria Day." Anyways, you are reading this for one reason and one reason only: To find out who is the new "Rudy Report Athlete of the Year."

Well, without further ado, the Rudy Report Athlete of the Year 2013 is someone who has been a front-runner for this award for years. As a result, he absolutely deserves receiving the grandest of all sports distinctions in the history of the world. Congratulations to Alexander "A-Rod" Rodriguez!!


Alex Rodriguez is the 7th individual to receive the award. As always, we have many reasons as to why A-Rod has won this year. First of all, he made $28 million in salary in 2013 and had to play a grueling 44 games, which means that he only made $636,000 per game. Next year will be better, when he will make $30 million and play no games at all. In addition, Alex has won the alumni award of the University of Miami and also sits on the school's Board of Trustees.... without ever having attended the institution! Also, he fulfilled several milestones: Hooker scandal. Check. Performance-enhancing drug abuse scandal. Check. Dated Madonna. Check. Owning a Mercedes-Benz dealership in Texas. Check! All the makes A-Rod a true all-rounder and worthy Rudy Report Athlete of the Year 2013.

He joins an elite group of impressive athletes that have shaped the history of sports. Previous winners of the fantastically prestigious "Rudy Report Athlete of the Year Award" have included:

- Roger Clemens (2007)
- Michael Vick (2008)
- Phil "The Power" Taylor (2009)
- Paul the Octopus (2010)
- Mario Balotelli (2011)
- Ryan Lochte (2012)

Bayern Munich will face Raja Casablanca in the final of the FIFA Club World Cup tomorrow. Kobe Bryant will return after the Rudy Report returns next year, after fracturing his tibia and being out for the next six weeks. And finally, MLB pitchers may start wearing protective headgear next season.

The Rudy Report says Happy Birthday to Roy Williams, David Wright, James Shields, Cory Stillman, and Scottish rally legend Alister "McCrash" McRae. On this day in 1955, Cardiff was proclaimed capital city of Wales. Have a great Christmas time, a Happy New Year, send in your Dear Rudy questions now, and find out what Dunkin Donuts and Howard Johnson's have in common in the Random Fact section!

Not Buying It - Los Angeles Dodgers co-owner Peter Guber, who also owns a part of the Golden State Warriors, has denied interest in buying the Oakland Athletics. Read here.


Written by Rudy on December 19, 2013 - 7:16 am -

A new survey has found that 70.1% of readers prefer reading the Rudy Report over signing up for health care on a government website, which is a very nice result for us, today on "National Re-Gifting Day." Anyways, it's almost Christmas and Rudy is wondering what is on your wishlist, other than the revelation of the Rudy Report Athlete of the Year 2013 tomorrow, of course. Kids these days still write to Santa, but times have clearly changed....


The Rudy Report says Happy Birthday to Rafael Soriano, Mo Williams, Jake Plummer, Warren Sapp, Ian Kennedy, and Icelandic horse riding sensation Valdimar Bergstao. On this day in 1983, the original World Cup trophy was stolen from the FIFA headquarters in Brazil. Have a great day, there is no new Dear Rudy right now, but learn something about Boeing that you absolutely did not know before in the Random Fact section!

Genius Marketing

Written by Rudy on December 18, 2013 - 7:38 am -

The Rudy Report would like to point out that we are just one week away from Christmas, which means that Christmas promotions for 2014 will start in 8 weeks, but not yet today on "National Answer the Phone Like Buddy the Elf Day." Anyways, the Rudy Report does not advertise. We don't need to do that. People come and find us. However, not everyone is as lucky. That is why some marketing geniuses have to come up with killer slogans like this one right here....


WBC world champion Vladimir Klitschko has retired from boxing, returning his titles and focusing on his political career as a party leader in Ukraine. Heisman Trophy winner Jameis Winston plans on playing in the NFL and MLB. He is not planning on correcting the typo in his first name. And, in the NHL, the New York Islanders lost against Tampa Bay.

The Rudy Report says Happy Birthday to Arantxa Sanchez Vicario, Mario Basler, Charles Oakley, Trish Stratus, and Dutch darts legend Vincent "The Dutch Destroyer"/"Grease Lightning" van der Voort. On this day in 1777, the United States celebrated its first Thanksgiving. Have a great day, there is no new Dear Rudy at the moment, but you can learn something interesting about vomiting in the Random Fact section!

The More, The Merrier - The owner of NBA franchise Milwaukee Bucks is looking for additional investors to broaden the ownership base. Read here.


Written by Rudy on December 17, 2013 - 6:53 am -

This Rudy Report comes in a little better than expected, which should give the economy a little boost this morning, today on "National Free Shipping Day." As you know, there is nothing that can ever stop a Rudy Report from being delivered to you. However, not everyone can make such quality claims....


In the Champions League Round of 16, champion Bayern Munich will take on Arsenal London in the top game. Barcelona will have to deal with Manchester City. Sports Illustrated has named Peyton Manning "Sportsman of the Year." Let['s see if he can also snag the title "Rudy Report Athlete of the Year 2013." Stay tuned. On Monday Night Football, Baltimore beat Detroit in the battle of unattractive cities. And, in the NBA, the New York Knicks lost against Washington, while Brooklyn beat Philadelphia.

The Rudy Report says Happy Birthday to Paula Radcliffe, Takeo Spikes, Paul Tracy, Vincent Damphousse, Rocco Mediate, and Cypriot soccer legend Sotiris Kaiafas. On this day in 1933, the National Football League started using official statistics in games. Have a great day, there is no new Dear Rudy right now, but learn something about duffel bags that you did not know before in the Random Fact section!

To The Water - The Oakland A's are still looking for a new ballpark and fans seem to favor a $500 million development right at the waterfront. Read here.


Written by Rudy on December 16, 2013 - 11:02 am -

You must be excited, because the Rudy Report will be revealing the Rudy Report Athlete of the Year 2013 towards the end of the week, so contain your excitement, today on "National Chocolate-Covered Anything Day." Anyways, let me just throw this one at you: stereotypes are a good thing. They make the world more predictable and easier to explain. Here is a perfect example....


In the NFL, the New York Giants got shut out by Seattle, while the Jets lost against Carolina. We also saw another epic collapse by Tony Romo and the Dallas Cowboys. In the NHL, the New York Rangers beat Calgary. On Saturday, in the NBA, the Knicks beat Atlanta. Florida State quarterback Jameis Winston won the Heisman Trophy. And, in the Premier League, Manchester City crushed Arsenal London in the top game 6-3. Chelsea, ManU, and Liverpool all won their respective games.

The Rudy Report says Happy Birthday to Mats Hummels, Antrel Rolle, Trevor Immelman, William "The Refrigerator" Perry, and Canadian sprinting legend Donovan Bailey. On this day in 1707, the last recorded eruption of Mount Fuji in Japan took place. Have a great week, there is no new Dear Rudy at the moment, but you can find out if you are taller or shorter in space in the Random Fact section!