You have waited almost a year for the first ever September issue of the Rudy Report, but an earlier release was not possible due to the Gregorian Calendar, today on "National Substitute Teacher Appreciation Day." With nearly every sport, except for chess and curling, having to deal with doping, steroid use seems to be a common practice for athletes around the world. The Rudy Report has found one female athlete that has withstood the temptation and stayed true to herself. Maybe too true...

Patriots All-Star Teddy Bruschi has retired from football, right on time for the start of the season. Carlos Boozer has been linked with a move to the Dallas Mavericks. At the US Open in New York, a bunch of people played tennis, but that shall not interest us until the later rounds of the tournament. And, in baseball, the Yankees beat Baltimore 5-1. The Mets did not play.

The Rudy Report says Happy Birthday to Clinton Portis, Tim Hardaway, and Dutch soccer legend Ruud Gullit. On this day in 1972, in Iceland, Bobby Fisher beat Boris Spassky to become chess world champion. Have a great day, there's no new Dear Rudy, but the pace is expected to pick up soon, you can still participate in the Rudy Report Fantasy Football League (see details below), and check out a great quote by the late Sir Peter Ustinov in the Funny Sports Quote section!

Official "The Rudy Report" Fantasy Football League: Be part of history and join the Rudy Report's first and exclusive Fantasy Football League. Signing up is easy: Go to Yahoo! Sports Fantasy Football by clicking here and look for "The Rudy Report League" (League ID# 719444 and League Password "Rudy"). The Live Online Draft is set for 8:15PM Eastern Time (5:15PM Pacific Time) on Tuesday, September 8, 2009. Rudy himself will field his famous "Rudy's Rowdies" team. Can you beat Rudy? Space is limited to only 14 teams, so be quick and join as soon as you can! The glorious winner can call himself/herself first ever Rudy Report Champion and will get an annual Rudy Report birthday shout-out - an honor only reserved for accomplished sports superstars. In addition, the winner will also get coverage in the world-famous Rudy Report. Also, there may or may not be a prize and it may or may not include a Michael Vick autograph.

Risk Management - Chicago is planning to spend as much as $70 million for $1.48 billion in insurance coverage for the 2016 Olympic Games, should they win the bid. Read here.

Truly Neverending - The National Hockey League is threatening to proceed with years of litigation should Jim Balsillie's bid for the Phoenix Coyotes be accepted. Read here.

Truly Neverending II - While the NHL and Jim Balsillie are fighting in court, the Toronto Maple Leafs are ready to veto any move of the Coyotes into their home territory. Read here.

Casa Italiana - Serie A club Inter Milan has made plans for a 60,000-seat arena, raising questions what town rival AC Milan will do. Read here.

Government Bailout - Quebec's government has extended a C$75 million loan to the Molson family in order to make sure that the Montreal Canadiens deal goes through. Read here.

Continuing Support - Barclay's has assured the sports world that it is still capable of supporting projects, such as the move of the Nets to a new home in Brooklyn. Read here.

Recession Proof - Despite a lack of buying power, New York City's businesses are expected to gain approximately $450 million from hosting the US Open. Read here.

The Rudy Report is back to serve as your personal and customized (yes, it's customized just for you... probably) post-weekend depression antidote, today on an interesting "National Weird Contests Day." Since most of you are either at work already or going to work, let's make this a political statement (Note: Rudy is in no way affiliated with any political party, except for the influential "Rudy Party", aside from that Rudy is, however, affiliated with any party that has a good crowd and good music). The lesson we learn from the picture below is that only Rudy Report bumper stickers are acceptable...

Congratulations to Isiah Thomas for occupying all 4 top spots in the recently released "Top 10 Worst Free Agent Signings of the Decade" by Yahoo Sports! The Yankees might be interested in veteran pitcher Brad Penny who was recently released by the Red Sox. The Bronx Bombers beat the Chicago White Sox on Sunday for the third time in a row, continuing a successful run. The Mets beat the Cubs, proving that New York is better than Chicago. At the Barclay's in New Jersey, Heath Slocum won with Padraig "Triple Bogey" Harrington and Tiger "Runner-Up" Woods finishing in second place. And in the Premier League, Liverpool and Chelsea won their games, while Arsenal got unlucky and lost 2-1 against Manchester United.

The Rudy Report says Happy Birthday to Larry Fitzgerald, Scott Niedermayer, Padraig "Triple Bogey" Harrington, and the pride of the West Indies, cricket legend Clive Lloyd. On this day in 1980, Zimbabwe established political relations with Algeria; a major (but often neglected by mainstream media) political move towards world peace. Have a great week, there's no new Dear Rudy yet for this week, but you can still participate and sign up for free for the Rudy Report Fantasy Football League (see details below), and learn something about what distinguishes working men from working women in the Random Fact section!

Official "The Rudy Report" Fantasy Football League: Be part of history and join the Rudy Report's first and exclusive Fantasy Football League. Signing up is easy: Go to Yahoo! Sports Fantasy Football by clicking here and look for "The Rudy Report League" (League ID# 719444 and League Password "Rudy"). The Live Online Draft is set for 8:15PM Eastern Time (5:15PM Pacific Time) on Tuesday, September 8, 2009. Rudy himself will field his famous "Rudy's Rowdies" team. Can you beat Rudy? Space is limited to only 14 teams, so be quick and join as soon as you can! The glorious winner can call himself/herself first ever Rudy Report Champion and will get an annual Rudy Report birthday shout-out - an honor only reserved for accomplished sports superstars. In addition, the winner will also get coverage in the world-famous Rudy Report. Also, there may or may not be a prize and it may or may not include a Michael Vick autograph.

No Forced Sale - New York Mets owner Fred Wilpon has denied that he and his family will be forced to sell the baseball organization after incurring major losses from the Bernie Madoff scandal. Read here.

Financial Fair Play - UEFA president Michel Platini has presented his ambitious plan to level the playing field for European soccer clubs, potentially ending an era dominated by rich investors. Read here.

Unpopular Move - The NHL's own bid for the Phoenix Coyotes is facing criticism by the media, with fans worrying that the team might face a lame duck season. Read here.

Who Bought What? - After announcing the intention to sell United Soccer Leagues ("USL"), Nike has found Nurock Soccer Holdings as an investor, which will purchase the organization. Read here.

Room For Speculation - Sir David Murray has resigned as chairman of Scottish soccer club Glasgow Rangers, sparking rumors that the team might get a new owner soon. Read here.

Foreign Exchange Issues - Chelsea CEO Peter Kenyon acknowledges that the weak British Pound and upcoming tax increases make it tougher for Premier League clubs to invest in players. Read here.

The Rudy Report would like to point out that it is the world's oldest and most famous sports & lifestyle report that includes the words "Rudy" and "Report", today on "National Wear A Bow Tie To Work Day." In the ongoing debate regarding the death of Michael Jackson, the Rudy Report has officially demanded LaToya Jackson's entire song catalogue to be ruled a homicide. By the way, some things in life are hard to believe, like this right here...

Inter Milan has signed central midfielder Wesley Sneijder from Real Madrid. Bayern Munich has acquired Real's Arjen Robben for 25 million Euros. The Champions League drawing took place yesterday. There are some tough groups, but Group C with AC Milan, Real Madrid, Olympique Marseille, and FC Zurich seems to be the hardest one. At the Barclay's in New Jersey, Sergio Garcia is one of three leaders at -6. There was a role reversal in baseball yesterday with the Yankees losing against Texas and the Mets beating Florida.

The Rudy Report says Happy Birthday to Scott Hamilton, Lou Piniella, and FC Barcelona striker with a lack of vowels in his name, Bojan Krkic. On this day in 1996, Prince Charles (not to be confused with ex-Citi CEO Charles Prince) and Diana were divorced. Have a great weekend, there's no new Dear Rudy today, but check out and join the Rudy Report Fantasy Football League (see details below), and see what Mexico and Iceland have in common in the Random Fact section!

Official "The Rudy Report" Fantasy Football League: Be part of history and join the Rudy Report's first and exclusive Fantasy Football League. Signing up is easy: Go to Yahoo! Sports Fantasy Football by clicking here and look for "The Rudy Report League" (League ID# 719444 and League Password "Rudy"). The Live Online Draft is set for 8:15PM Eastern Time (5:15PM Pacific Time) on Tuesday, September 8, 2009. Rudy himself will field his famous "Rudy's Rowdies" team. Can you beat Rudy? Space is limited to only 14 teams, so be quick and join as soon as you can! The glorious winner can call himself/herself first ever Rudy Report Champion and will get an annual Rudy Report birthday shout-out - an honor only reserved for accomplished sports superstars. In addition, the winner will also get coverage in the world-famous Rudy Report. Also, there may or may not be a prize and it may or may not include a Michael Vick autograph.

Renewing The Lease - The National Hockey League is apparently bidding $140 million for the Phoenix Coyotes while accepting the current lease with the city of Glendale. Read here.

Grand Slam Revenues - The organizers of the US Open tennis tournament, set to start next week, have projected record revenues of $200 million. Read here.

Cubs Reserve - New documents show that as part of the Chicago Cubs deal, the Ricketts family agreed to a $35 million reserve fund designed to provide a cushion of liquidity. Read here.

Definitely Done - Several reports confirm that Sulaiman Al Fahim has indeed taken over Portsmouth FC, ending confusing rumors about other bidders for the club. Read here.

Thunder Paradise - New NBA franchise Oklahoma Thunder will build a state-of-the-art center with training and medical facilities, set to open in one year. Read here.

The Rudy Report is back with its world-famous Thursday edition and tons of life-changing news, today on "National Be Kind To Humankind Day." To honor this day, the Rudy Report is thinking about starting a charity for disadvantaged people who are often overlooked by society: the inhabitants of slums just outside of New York, commonly known as New Jersey and Brooklyn. Rudy wants to provide free binoculars to these folks so that they can zoom in on the Manhattan skyline and thus feel like a part of it. To give you an idea how bad it is, here's the most recent picture from the Jersey Shore...

Mark Sanchez will be the starting quarterback for the New York Jets at the beginning of the season. Mets reliever Billy Wagner has been traded to the Red Sox. Last night, the Yankees beat Texas, and the Mets lost against Florida. Today, the Barclay's will kick off the FedEx Cup playoffs with Tiger Woods remaining the favorite. And tomorrow, the drawing for the UEFA Champions League will take place.

The Rudy Report says Happy Birthday to Darren McFadden, Adam Oates, and German golf legend Bernhard Langer. On this day in 1859, petroleum was discovered in Titusville, PA, leading to the world's first commercially successful oil well. Have a great day, there's no new Dear Rudy today, but you can still participate in the first ever Rudy Report Fantasy Football League (see details below), and learn something you didn't know about European males in the Random Fact section!

Official "The Rudy Report" Fantasy Football League: Be part of history and join the Rudy Report's first and exclusive Fantasy Football League. Signing up is easy: Go to Yahoo! Sports Fantasy Football by clicking here and look for "The Rudy Report League" (League ID# 719444 and League Password "Rudy"). The Live Online Draft is set for 8:15PM Eastern Time (5:15PM Pacific Time) on Tuesday, September 8, 2009. Rudy himself will field his famous "Rudy's Rowdies" team. Can you beat Rudy? Space is limited to only 14 teams, so be quick and join as soon as you can! The glorious winner can call himself/herself first ever Rudy Report Champion and will get an annual Rudy Report birthday shout-out - an honor only reserved for accomplished sports superstars. In addition, the winner will also get coverage in the world-famous Rudy Report. Also, there may or may not be a prize and it may or may not include a Michael Vick autograph.

Gold Standard - Birmingham City executives David Gold and David Sullivan have expressed interest in buying West Ham United for GBP 100 million plus GBP 50 million of bank debt. Read here.

Yet Another Big Twist - Jerry Reinsdorf has dropped out as a potential takeover candidate for the Phoenix Coyotes, possibly forcing the NHL to buy the team itself. Read here.

Bad Deal - A report shows how Sam Zell and the Tribune got a low-ball deal by selling the Chicago Cubs to the Ricketts family, could have made $150 million more by selling Wrigley Field to state. Read here.

Time Is Money - Barry Moat has been granted an extended deadline to purchase Newcastle United so that he can prove he can shoulder the takeover, but a US group bids as well. Read here and here.

Not A Sport - The Indian government has ruled that Formula One racing is not a sport, but entertainment instead, not seeing any benefits in hosting races in India. Read here.

Confusing Situation - Middle Eastern investor Sulaiman Al Fahim has claimed ownership of Portsmouth FC despite reports that the club was acquired by Peter Storrie's group. Read here.

Split Decision - Italian top leagues Serie A and Serie B have decided to split operations in an effort to revive commercial success for both leagues. Read here.

The Rudy Report would like to remind everyone of the brand-new Rudy Report Fantasy Football League (see details below), and you have to be quick to get in, because demand is higher than for swine flu vaccine, today on "National Make Your Own Luck Day." After introducing the Rudy Report League cheerleading squad's team captain to honor the league's inaugural season yesterday, please have a look at the rest of the squad in this second and final cheerleading feature. Meet Shanice, who combines the enthusiasm, dedication, and weight of a whole group...

There are rumors that the Olympic marathon competition in London in 2012 will feature a mass participation elements, like in other famous city marathons. Last night, the Yankees had a close 10-9 loss against Texas, while the Mets clearly lost 2-1 against Florida. And the US Open of tennis are set to begin next week. Can Roger Federer do it again?

The Rudy Report says Happy Birthday to Jamal Lewis, Stan van Gundy, and Filipino pool playing legend Efren "The Magician" Reyes. On this day in 1999, Michael Johnson broke the 400 meters world record with a time of 43.18 seconds. A record soon to be broken by Usain Bolt... Have a great day, check out a new and time-relevant Dear Rudy about Michael Jackson, and find an interesting baseball observation in today's Funny Sports Quote section!

Official "The Rudy Report" Fantasy Football League: Be part of history and join the Rudy Report's first and exclusive Fantasy Football League. Signing up is easy: Go to Yahoo! Sports Fantasy Football by clicking here and look for "The Rudy Report League" (League ID# 719444 and League Password "Rudy"). The Live Online Draft is set for 8:15PM Eastern Time (5:15PM Pacific Time) on Tuesday, September 8, 2009. Rudy himself will field his famous "Rudy's Rowdies" team. Can you beat Rudy? Space is limited to only 14 teams, so be quick and join as soon as you can! The glorious winner can call himself/herself first ever Rudy Report Champion and will get an annual Rudy Report birthday shout-out - an honor only reserved for accomplished sports superstars. In addition, the winner will also get coverage in the world-famous Rudy Report. Also, there may or may not be a prize and it may or may not include a Michael Vick autograph.

Less Can Be More - Barclays Bank has agreed to fund the takeover of Newcastle United by Barry Moat if the club is able to sell three more players. Read here.

Still Fighting - Tampa Bay Lightning co-owner Len Barrie has dismissed rumors that he is about to give up his stake in the NHL franchise, saying that he wants control. Read here.

Judge On Board - Tribune Co. bankruptcy judge Kevin Carey has agreed to expedite the sale of the Chicago Cubs to the Ricketts family, passing the last hurdle of the deal. Read here.

Battling Windmills - Jim Balsillie has submitted yet another amended offer for the Phoenix Coyotes to bankruptcy court, reaffirming that he wants to move the team immediately. Read here.

For Sale - Nike has put the United Soccer Leagues up for sale, focusing on selling soccer equipment, but Major League Soccer and others don't seem to be interested. Read here.