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Today January 27, 2015

Revisiting Prom Etiquette

Written by Rudy on May 16, 2011 - 8:36 am -

The Rudy Report is proud to announce that it was voted "Wine of the Year", beating out a 1968 Chateau Petrus, which is a major achievement, especially since we are not even a wine, today on "National Wear Purple for Peace Day." Anyways, the Rudy Report finds it necessary to remind younger readers of some Prom Etiquette. Don't drink too much, have fun, but don't do anything you will regret later, like unfavorable pictures of you surfacing on the Internet...


Rudy was one of just a few celebrities at the Yankees-Red Sox game on Sunday night. Despite this boost to the team, they managed to lose all three games of the series, but in the last game, it was definitely Err-Rod's fault. Thanks for that! The Mets beat Houston, bla bla bla. The LA Lakers may sign Mike Dunleavy as their next coach. K.J. Choi won the Players' Championship, becoming the first Korean to ever win anything. In the Premier League, Manchester United became champion after tying Blackburn. And, in the NBA playoffs, Chicago destroyed Miami to take the series lead.

The Rudy Report says Happy Birthday to Corey Perry, Gabriela Sabatini, Thurman Thomas, and Hungarian marathon legend Edit Berces. On this day in 1929, the first Academy Awards were handed out in Hollywood. Have a great week, send in your new Dear Rudy questions, and find out something about pencils that you didn't know for sure in the Random Fact section!

Not Going North - National Hockey League commissioner Gary Bettman has stated that the Atlanta Thrashers will not be moving to Winnipeg. Read here.

On The Right Track - MLB commissioner Bud Selig is confident that the New York Mets will have found a minority partner by the end of the month. Read here.

A Lighter Burden - The owners of Premier League club Manchester United have bought back several team bonds, lightening the high debt burden. Read here.

Obvious Symptoms

Written by Rudy on May 13, 2011 - 12:17 pm -

It is one of these dreaded Friday the 13ths, but you are definitely in luck, because you are starting the day with the Rudy Report, that will get you through any day, no matter how difficult, like today on "National Electrical Safety Day." If you don't feel well, by the way, it may be a good idea to go and see a doctor. However, thanks to the internet, it has become quite easy to make your own diagnosis. Just google for symptoms of what you think you have. Sometimes, it's more obvious than you expect...


Tiger Woods withdrew from the Players' Championship due to a horrible first round. Nick Watney is in the lead with a round of -8, one stroke ahead of Lucas Glover. In baseball, the Mets beat Colorado, while the Yankees lost against Kansas City once again. The Boston Red Sox are next... And, in the NBA playoffs, Chicago beat Atlanta to advance to the next round.

The Rudy Report says Happy Birthday to Yaya Toure, Barry Zito, Mike Bibby, Wally Masur, and Sri Lankan cricket legend and master wicket keeper Dorake Witharanage Ashana Niroshan Dilshan Vitharana. On this day in 1848, Finland's national anthem was performed for the first time. Have a great weekend, there is still no new Dear Rudy, but find out what pigs and humans have in common in the Random Fact section!

Looking At Atlanta - While the Phoenix Coyotes are likely to stay in Arizona, the city of Winnipeg is looking at the Atlanta Thrashers for a new NHL franchise. Read here.

Still In Limbo - Major League Baseball commissioner Bud Selig met with Frank McCourt to discuss the future of the Los Angeles Dodgers. Read here.

Immigration Aisle

Written by Rudy on May 12, 2011 - 10:29 am -

This Rudy Report is coming to you absolutely free and without any commercials or product placements, thanks to the generous support of Coca-Cola, Charmin, and Luis Vutton (the Chinatown brand, not the French brand), today on "National Military Spouse Appreciation Day." Supermarkets have to offer so much stuff these days, things can get really confusing. That's why there are signs in each aisle to help you better find your stuff. It's definitely more efficient to group minorities together...


Real Madrid star Kaka is set to join Premier League club Chelsea next season. Manchester City is interested in Arsenal midfielder Cesc Fabregas. In baseball, the Mets game versus Colorado got postponed, while the Yankees lost against Kansas City after going into extra innings. And, in the NBA playoffs, the Miami Heat eliminated Boston, winning the series 4-1.

The Rudy Report says Happy Birthday to Yogi Berra, Jim Furyk, Mike Weir, Graeme Dott, Thomas Dooley, George Karl, and Russian gymnastics legend and alleged Vladimir Putin mistress (better know for the mistress part) Alina Kabaeva. On this day in 1941, Konrad Zause presented the Z3, the world's first working programmable, fully automatic computer, in Berlin (Why is it called Z3 when it's the first?!?!). Have a great day, there are lots of vintage Dear Rudys for your reading pleasure, and learn something about burglaries in the Random Fact section!

Lost Interest - Hedge fund manager Steve Cohen has apparently lost interest in buying a minority stake in the New York Mets, opening the door for other bidders. Read here.

Consolidation - The Ontario Teachers' Pension Plan wants to buy out some minority owners to set up a comprehensive sale of the Toronto Maple Leafs and MLSE later. Read here.

Conflict of Interest - There may be legal consequences for MLB, because one of the new monitors of the Los Angeles Dodger worked for Jamie McCourt before and may be biased. Read here.

Staying On The Island - The New York Islanders are working on a plan that would replace their old arena and allow the team to stay where they are. Read here.

Use Of Force - The National Hockey League may take legal action to force the sale of the Phoenix Coyotes to Matthew Hulsizer, while a second bidder may be waiting as well. Read here.

Final Talks - The sale of the Houston Astros to a group led by businessman Jim Crane for $680 million could be completed as soon as next week. Read here.

Celebrate With Caution

Written by Rudy on May 11, 2011 - 5:05 am -

This Rudy Report is extra healthy for you, because not only does it not contain any fat, it is also now completely gluten-free, today on "National Eat What You Want Day." There are plenty of reasons to celebrate every day, like when your favorite terrorist gets killed, or when you win the lottery, or when you win a poker tournament. However, be smart about celebrating or else joy can quickly turn into sorrow...


The Forbes "Most Influential Athlete" list is dominated by NASCAR personalities, which is obviously no surprise to all the rednecks that read Forbes. Number one on the list is Jimmie Johnson, followed by Tom Brady and Dale Earnhardt Jr. In baseball, the Yankees beat Kansas City, while the Mets game was postponed. In the NBA playoffs, Chicago beat Atlanta to take a 3-2 series lead. And, in the NHL playoffs, Detroit beat San Jose to force an exciting Game 7.

The Rudy Report says Happy Birthday to Cam Newton, Andres Iniesta, Matt Leinart, and Finnish ski jumping legend Janne Ahonen. On this day in 1924, Mercedes-Benz was formed by Gottlieb Daimler and Karl Benz merging their companies. Have a great day, there is no new Dear Rudy right now, but you can learn something about ice cream before we head into the hot season in the Random Fact section!

Court Case - Frank McCourt may retain and solidify his ownership of the Los Angeles Dodgers should the franchise enter bankruptcy, but other parties involved may oppose the move. Read here.

Looking Good - The Minnesota Vikings are closer than ever to getting an NFL stadium that could be part of a sizable $1 billion development. Read here.

Location Game - The Phoenix Coyotes look set to spend more seasons in Arizona, but that may just be a front to distract from behind-the-scenes negotiations with Winnipeg. Read here.

Something For Everyone

Written by Rudy on May 10, 2011 - 5:31 am -

The Rudy Report would like to point out that reading the report every day makes you smarter, more attractive, and overall a better person, so keep up the good work, today on "National Trust Your Intuition Day." You may be aware that Asian supermarkets usually have a wide variety of noodles, soy sauces, and what not. There is literally something for everyone, no matter how you go about your life...


Belgian cyclist Wouter Weylandt died after accidentally falling during a stage of the Giro d'Italia. Atletico Madrid striker Sergio Aguero has rejected an offer from Manchester United. The transfer of goalie Manuel Neuer to Bayern Munich is in jeopardy after both teams cannot seem to agree on a price. In the NHL playoffs, Vancouver beat Nashville to advance to the next round. In baseball, the Mets lost against Colorado, while the Yankees did not play. And, in the NBA playoffs, Miami beat Boston to take a crucial 3-1 series lead.

The Rudy Report says Happy Birthday to Ryan Getzlaf, Wilson Chandler, Nick Heidfeld, Adam Deadmarsh, Sylvain Wiltord, Helio Castroneves, Dennis Bergkamp, Tito Santana, Jim Calhoun, and, of course, Norwegian speed skating legend Ådne Søndrål (Kids, don't try typing this name at home!!). On this day in 1893, the Supreme Court of the United States ruled in "Nix v. Hedden" that a tomato is a vegetable, not a fruit, under the Tariff Act of 1883. Have a great day, there is still no new Dear Rudy right now, but find a significant piece of statistics in the Random Fact section!

In Good Hands - New Glasgow Rangers owner Craig Whyte says that his deal to take over the struggling club was the best possible solution. Read here.

Opportunity In Failure - A new reports suggests that the financial struggles of the Dodgers could help developers find an ideal site for a future NFL franchise in Los Angeles. Read here.

Another Dodger Story - Los Angeles Dodgers owner Frank McCourt may lose the franchise, but he might be able to hang on to the valuable stadium. Read here.

Sharing The Costs - The city of Minneapolis is ready to pay 25% of the costs for a new NFL stadium to make sure the Minnesota Vikings stay in town. Read here.

No Seller - Formula One boss Bernie Ecclestone is confident that current owner CVC Capital Partners is not looking to sell the organization. Read here.

Offshore Money - The English Premier League will receive more money from overseas broadcasting contracts than ever before. Read here.

No End In Sight - Despite reports of an upcoming deal closing, the sale of the Dallas Stars is now rumored to drag well into June. Read here.