Recent Comments

Today September 16, 2014

A Learning Experience

Written by Rudy on February 10, 2011 - 10:57 am -

The Rudy Report would like to point out that any reader who also visits the Huffington Post or has an AOL account (congrats on the acquisition, by the way, that's like a wheelchaired geriatric buying a snowboard) will be banned, which is nothing personal, but simply a quality management issue, today on "National Leadership Day" (not observed in Germany anymore for historical reasons). As you know, it is getting tougher and tougher to get into the best universities. At the same time, tuition goes through the roof. Well, there may be some cheaper, yet equally rewarding options, such as this one...


After his terrible crash last weekend, Formula One driver Robert Kubica is awake again and can move his hand that was severely injured. Baseball star Albert Pujols is still unsure about his future with the Cardinals. In the NBA, the Knicks lost against the LA Clippers.

The Rudy Report says Happy Birthday to Mike Ribeiro, Lance Berkman, Ty Law, John Calipari, and bankrupt-like-the-Mets-owners former baseball legend Lenny "Nails" Dykstra. On this day in 1863, the fire extinguisher was patented. Have a great day, there is no new Dear Rudy, but check out the wild history of Fanta in the Random Fact section!

The Fight That Never Ends - Tom Hicks and the Royal Bank of Scotland are back in court over the sale of Liverpool FC to John Henry. Read here.

Wanting It All - Rock star Jon Bon Jovi has confirmed that he would like to become an owner of a National Football League franchise, such as the Atlanta Falcons. Read here.

Going Public - At the initial public offering of Formula One team Williams, the business is valued at 265 million Euros, which should raise enough money to stay competitive. Read here.

Clash Of The Titans - The European Club Association has expressed dissatisfaction about how world soccer organization FIFA is governing the sport. Read here.

On Their Own - The executive responsible for building a new National Football League stadium in Los Angeles says that it will be built without any taxpayer money. Read here.

Opposite Day 2011

Written by Rudy on February 09, 2011 - 7:33 am -

You are reading the Wednesday Edition of the Rudy Report (provided you actually know how to read) which means that you are making a difference in the world, not by saving lives (but frankly, only people in movies save lives anyways), but by getting smarter, today on "National Opposite Day." And since it's Opposite Day (clearly one of the best holidays of the year), opposites will trickle down to every aspect of life today. Even in the news...


After acquiring Fernando Torres, Chelsea FC is reportedly interested in signing Cesc Fabregas next. In the NHL, the Islanders lost against Toronto, while the Devils beat Carolina in overtime thanks to a goal by Mattias Tedenby.

The Rudy Report says Happy Birthday to Vladimir Guerrero (Russian first name, Hispanic last name, kind of like Oleg Sanchez), Magdalena Neuner, John Kruk, and Taiwanese professional pool legend Wu Chia-ching (not to be confused with gardening legend Wu Chia-pets). On this day in 1870, the US Weather Bureau was established. Have a great day, check out some of the most recent Dear Rudy contributions, and find out which animal is America's most popular in the Random Fact section!

Popular Partner - Dallas Mavericks owner Mark Cuban says that several groups want him as a partner to take a minority stake in the New York Mets. Read here.

Double Bogey - The PGA Tour is getting sued by the receiver in the Allen Stanford case, saying that it should not have received millions in payments. Read here.

Lost In Translation - A new article explores the differences in expressions between sports fans in the United States and fans in Great Britain. Read here.

Pending Transaction - After more than two years of processing, the ownership stake of the Arizona Diamondbacks will finally be transferred. Read here.

The Last Laugh

Written by Rudy on February 08, 2011 - 7:50 am -

There is still something wrong with the state of South Dakota, because unlike any other state or US territory, nobody from there has ever read the Rudy Report, which is quite suspicious, today on "National Send a Card to a Friend Day." We all know that the Rudy Report sometimes (Note: this is unconfirmed) makes ironic and/or sarcastic statements. However, it is crucial not to get too cocky in life, because you may not always have the last laugh...


The FIFA World Cup in Qatar will not be moved to winter. Instead, it will take place in the summer when temperatures reach a cozy 140 degrees Fahrenheit (60 degrees Celsius). Formula One driver Robert Kubica is in a coma after surviving a terrible rally crash. He is most likely out for the season. And, in the NHL, the Rangers lost a close game against Detroit 3-2.

The Rudy Report says Happy Birthday to JaJuan Johnson (nope, that's not a typo), Kevin "Kimbo Slice" Ferguson, Alonzo Mourning, Dino Ciccarelli, and Bulgarian soccer legend Hristo Stoichkov. On this day in 1966, the NHL awarded Pittsburgh, PA, a second franchise: The Pittsburgh Penguins. Have a great day, there are still many new Dear Rudys from the last few days, and find out how far you will walk in your life in the Random Fact section!

Rocking Atlanta - Rock star Jon Bon Jovi is interested in purchasing a minority stake in National Football League franchise Atlanta Falcons for $150 million. Read here.

Good Talk - Both sides have left with a positive impression after talks regarding the NFL's Collective Bargaining Agreement took place during Super Bowl weekend. Read here.

Testing Your Luck

Written by Rudy on February 07, 2011 - 9:29 am -

The Rudy Report is back from the weekend with the newest news ever under Rudy's stable leadership (kind of like it is the case in North Korea or has been the case in Egypt), today on the highly popular "National Wave All Your Fingers at Your Neighbor Day." Anyways, as you know, a lot of things in life require luck. However, there's luck and then there's really freakin' lucky (like Quentin Tarrantino, who made millions with douche bag movies, for example). This is not necessarily a series of funny pictures, but even more so it is quite incredible. Someone got really lucky here...



It was the night of the Super Bowl with the Pittsburgh Steelers taking on the Green Bay Packer in Dallas. Rudy-favorite Pittsburgh ended up losing against Green Bay, but only because the Steelers did not follow the strategy laid out by the Rudy Report... In the English Premier League, Chelsea with former Liverpool striker Fernando Torres lost at home against Liverpool 1-0. ManCity and Tottenham won, ManU lost, and Arsenal had a crazy 4-4 against Newcastle (after leading 4-0 at halftime). On Saturday, in the NHL, the Rangers lost against Montreal, but the Islanders beat Ottawa. And, in the NBA, the Knicks beat Philadelphia.

The Rudy Report says Happy Birthday to Steven Stamkos, Matthew Stafford, Daniel van Buyten, Steve Nash, Juwan Howard, Peter Bondra, and Ethiopian soccer sensation Teshome Getu. On this day in 1962, the United States banned all Cuban exports and imports. Have a great week, there is a great new Dear Rudy about Nobel Prize rumors, and find out how far you will walk in your life in the Random Fact section!

On To Bigger Things - After selling the Buffalo Sabres, Tom Golisano expressed interest in buying the Buffalo Bills amid rumors there was a higher bidder wanting to relocate the NHL franchise. Read here.

Bases Loaded - The Madoff trustee is seeking almost $300 million from the Wilpon family, which could force them to give up control of the Mets. Read here.

Snow Must Go On

Written by Rudy on February 04, 2011 - 8:29 am -

The Rudy Report is generously stepping aside for the weekend to avoid taking away attention from the Super Bowl, which is an annual noble gesture from Rudy, but before we get there, today we will celebrate "National Thank a Mailman Day." We have had many snow storms over the last few weeks and it doesn't seem to stop. Some people are so frustrated, they are reaching out to higher powers to make it stop...


The Rudy Report would like to reiterate its endorsement of the Pittsburgh Steelers. Big Ben and his team will go on to win the Super Bowl. Yankees pitcher Andy Pettitte is retiring from baseball. And, in the NHL, the Rangers lost against New Jersey in a close game. The real loser, however, was New Jersey, because they had to go back home to their inferior state after the game...

The Rudy Report says Happy Birthday to James Milner, Toni Kroos, Ted Lilly, Danilo Hondo, Greg de Vries, David Toms, Charlie Manuel, and Italian luge legend Armin Zöggeler. On this day in 2010, the Burj Khalifa, the world's tallest building, officially opened. Have a great weekend, there is another brand-new Dear Rudy about a soccer player that forgot his Porsche, and learn something interesting about graduation rates in the Random Fact section!

Cuban In The Running - Dallas Mavericks owner Mark Cuban says that he may be interested in buying a stake in the New York Mets. Read here.

Mysterious Move - The Glazer family has moved its ownership stake in Manchester United to a Delaware company, making the structure even more secretive. Read here.

Stable Investment - A new article explores the stable share price and unique ownership structure of the Green Bay Packers as a public entity. Read here.

Dodging The Dodgers - Boston Red Sox co-owner Tom Werner has denied rumors that he may be interested in buying the Los Angeles Dodgers. Read here.

Networking Strategy - The New York Mets may make their lucrative sports network part of a deal to raise money if it is absolutely necessary. Read here.