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Today July 30, 2014

Training Day

Written by Rudy on December 22, 2010 - 2:36 am -

With only a few days left, the Rudy Report is getting ready to conclude the first decade of the millennium, but we have always been ahead of time anyways, so we look forward, today on "International Calendar Awareness Day." If you have a dog, you know that it is not easy to train them. So using some literature and advice from experts can be helpful... or ironic...


AC Milan has signed controversial striker Antonio Cassano. The New Jersey Nets are close to bringing Carmelo Anthony to the state nobody wants to live in. The UConn women's basketball team has now the longest winning streak in college basketball history with 89 wins in a row. It's probably because they are the only women's team (trying hard not to cite Don Imus). And, in the NHL, the New Jersey Devils lost against Washington.

The Rudy Report says Happy Birthday to Greg Biffle, Bernd Schuster, Lonnie Smith, and Swiss judo legend Sergei Aschwanden. On this day in 1937, the Lincoln Tunnel opened to traffic in New York City. Does it really feel open sometimes? Have a great day, there is currently no new Dear Rudy, but check out another priceless Ochocinco comment in the Funny Sports Quote section!

Wanting More - Arsenal London investor Alisher Usmanov has stated that he is planning to increase his stake in the club from 27% to 29.9%. Read here.

In The League's Hands - The National Basketball Association is now the proud owner of the New Orleans Hornets after the sale got approved. Read here.

Threatening To Leave - Several teams have threatened to leave Formula One and start a separate racing league due to the way the organization is run. Read here.

One Step Closer - Zygi Wilf has won the support of the governor for a new Minnesota Vikings outdoor stadium, but several roadblocks still remain. Read here.

Denying A Deal - Manchester United has denied that Qatar Holdings has made a serious GBP 1.5 billion bid for the Premier League club. Read here.

No Snow

Written by Rudy on December 21, 2010 - 5:57 am -

The Rudy Report is always in your mailbox on time, regardless of weather conditions, which is great news for everyone stuck at an airport, today on "National Flashlight Day." People in North America and Europe are wondering: Where is Global Warming when you really need it? Some folks in other parts of the world are happy when the snow stays away, like this car owner in California...

Lambo 1_1

The Tottenham Hotspurs have offered more than $30 million and striker Peter Crouch in exchange for Newcastle star Andy Carroll. On Monday Night Football, the Vikings lost against Chicago. In the NBA, Dallas beat Miami. And, in the Premier League's version of Monday Night Football, Manchester City lost at home against Everton.

The Rudy Report says Happy Birthday to Mark Ingram Jr., Chris Evert, Joe Paterno, and baseball legend Andy van Slyke. On this day in 1970, Elvis Presley and Richard Nixon met at the White House. Sounds like the beginning of a good joke, but it actually happened... Have a great day, there is no new Dear Rudy right now, but learn something interesting about orcas in the Random Fact section!

Banking On Hockey - The Royal Bank of Canada has reached a sponsorship agreement with USA Hockey, which will be valid for several years. Read here.

Breaking Even - A new report finds that the Olympic Games in Vancouver broke even, not losing any money on a billion dollar budget. Read here.

Having A Blast

Written by Rudy on December 20, 2010 - 2:41 am -

Few people actually know this, but the Rudy Report is what that pale, malnourished guy Julian from Wikileaks reads to get all his information, basically trying to benefit from the Rudy Elite, and he probably does it again today on "National Wear a Plunger on Your Head Day." The new year is right around the corner, and the key to having a great New Year's Eve party is hiring a good band. One such band has successfully made its transformation from terrorist organization to musical sensation...


Real Madrid is interested in signing Carols Tevez or Emmanuel Adebayor. In the Champions League's Round of Sixteen, Bayern Munich will face Inter Milan in which will be a reenactment of last year's final. In the NFL, the Giants lost against Philadelphia after blowing a 21-point lead. The Jets beat Pittsburgh. In the NBA, the Knicks lost against Cleveland. In the NHL, the Rangers lost against the Flyers, while the Islanders got beat by Phoenix. And, in the Premier League, almost all games were canceled due to extreme weather conditions.

The Rudy Report says Happy Birthday to Roy Williams, Martin Demichelis, Michael Rogers, David Wright, Ashley Cole, and Polish soccer legend Bartosz Bosacki. On this day in 1991, the NHL granted permanent membership to the Tampa Bay Lightning and Ottawa Senators. Have a great week, there is currently no new Dear Rudy, but find out something shocking about the Titanic in the Random Fact section!

Deal On The Table - It looks like billionaire Terry Pegula will acquire the Buffalo Sabres from Tom Golisano for an estimated $175 million. Read here.

Strategic Change - National Basketball Association commissioner David Stern wants to change the league's economic model, shaping it after the NFL. Read here.

Deal Details - New documents reveal that John Henry and his group have paid approximately $340 million for Premier League club Liverpool FC. Read here.

Never Sleeping - After ending negotiations with Mike Ilitch the Detroit Pistons deal team has started to contact other interested parties. Read here.

Athlete of the Year

Written by Rudy on December 17, 2010 - 3:28 am -

The day you all have been waiting for has finally arrived, when the Rudy Report announces the winner of the most prestigious global award, commonly known as the "Rudy Report Athlete of the Year 2010" (RRAOTY), today on "National Find a Friend, Be a Friend Day." The RRAOTY award typically changes people's lives. After receiving the award, Michael Vick, for example, is now on track to become the NFL's Most Valuable Player.

Before we reveal this year's winner, let's have a look at past award recipients:

2007 - Roger "The Rocket" Clemens

2008 - Michael "Ron Mexico" Vick

2009 - Phil "The Power" Taylor

And now, without further ado, presenting the Rudy Report Athlete of the Year 2010:


Paul the Octopus! Congratulations! Paul is becoming the second British winner of the award in a row (many people mistakenly assumed he was Germany, because he was always right) and the first winner who is not amongst us anymore. Unfortunately, Paul the Octopus passed away on October 26th at the age of 2. However, the sports world will always remember Paul as one of soccer's most influential oracles. He closely beat other strong contenders, such as Delonte West, Peter Crouch, or Tiger Woods. Why? Well, because you can't be better than perfect, and Paul certainly has been perfect, correctly predicting every single game of the World Cup he was asked to assess. We are sending this award to tentacle heaven. Paul, once again congratulations, you will be missed.

In the NHL, the Rangers beat Phoenix. The Islanders won against Anaheim. And, in the NBA, the Nets had a victory against Washington.

The Rudy Report says Happy Birthday to Manny Pacquiao, Takeo Spikes, Chuck Liddell, Vincent Damphousse, and female Greek hammer throwing legend Alexandra Papageorgiou (Shouldn't she be Mamageorgiou if she's female? Suspicious...) On this day in 1988, Germany beat Sweden to win the 77th Davis Cup of tennis. Have a great weekend, there is no new Dear Rudy right now, but you can learn something about China that you didn't know for sure in the Random Fact section!

Revenue Rage - Mike Ilitch's deal to acquire the Detroit Pistons fell through because future revenues in the prospectus appeared to be too high. Read here.

Looking For A Change - The country of Qatar is ready to transform itself for the 2022 World Cup with a budget of more than $65 billion. Read here.

Final Deal - Chicago businessman Matthew Hulsizer has basically taken over the struggling Phoenix Coyotes with a pledge to keep the team in Glendale. Read here.

A Look Into The Future - AEG has revealed several competing designs for a National Football League stadium to be built in downtown Los Angeles. Read here.

New Project - Dallas Mavericks owner Mark Cuban has developed a plan to bring a playoff system to college football in an effort to change a controversial practice. Read here.


Written by Rudy on December 16, 2010 - 4:46 am -

Tomorrow, history will be made once again when the Rudy Report announces the winner of the extremely prestigious "Rudy Report Athlete of the Year 2010" Award, so get ready today on "National Chocolate Covered Anything Day." If you thought that Tiger Woods was insatiable and had some serious issues with all the scandals that have surfaced. Think again! Women's golf is not any better...


The Rudy Report says Happy Birthday to Trevor Immelman, William "The Refrigerator" Perry, Charles Gipson, and Barbadian cricket legend Joel "Big Bird" Garner. On this day in 1978, Cleveland, Ohio, became the first post-Depression city to default on its loans, owing $14 million to local banks. It was still a pretty good run for Cleveland... Have a great day, there are a lot of vintage Dear Rudy questions, and check out something about the population in your mouth in the Random Fact section!