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Today November 24, 2014

Caught In The Act

Written by Rudy on April 01, 2011 - 7:59 am -

According to a new survey, the Rudy Report is now more popular than Facebook, Jesus, Apple, and Japan combined, which is just another step towards immortality, today on "International Guitar Day." We all make mistakes sometimes, and that's okay. Well, unless you are in charge of a nuclear power plant.... Just always remember: mistakes can have costly reputational effects...


It looks like the New York Yankees will be cruising to their next World Series title. So far, the Bronx Bombers have won every single match of the season, maintaining a perfect record. Nobody seems to be able to beat them, not even the Detroit Tigers. The Mets have yet to win a single game and chances to make the playoffs are extremely slim. Manchester City has fined Mario "Phil Taylor" Balotelli (only fans will get this) for throwing darts at fellow team members. In other news, we are down to the Final Four: Libya, Sudan, Bahrain, and Iran. And, in the NHL, the Islanders beat the Rangers.

The Rudy Report says Happy Birthday to Randy Orton, Courtney McCool, Darren McCarty, Rusty Staub, and New Zealand rugby master Lance Hohaia. On this day in 1967, the US Department of Transportation began operating. It was slightly delayed... Have a great weekend, there is currently no new Dear Rudy, but learn something about the Pope's style in the Random Fact section!

The Hoff Offer - David Hasselhoff and a group of high-profile investors has made an offer to take over the Los Angeles Dodgers for a staggering $1.2 billion. Read here.

Full Of Frustration - The current owner of the Detroit Pistons is frustrated, because negotiations with a buyer have still not yielded a final agreement. Read here.

Act Now - The Chief Executive Officer of Premier League club Liverpool FC is urging UEFA to implement the new Financial Fair Play rules quickly. Read here.

Price Tag - The New York Mets are selling a minority stake for $200 million, which could translate into as much as 40% of the franchise. Read here.

In Memory Of Knut

Written by Rudy on March 31, 2011 - 7:50 am -

This is already the last Rudy Report for the month of March, but don't let anyone fool you, Rudy will continue to provide the newest news and best stuff in April, somewhat similar to today on "National Professional Pet Sitters Day." The Rudy Report wanted to let some time pass before commenting on last week's passing of world-famous, super cute, and oh-so-fluffy polar bear Knut. We will miss you, Knut. However, apparently, some animal haters will not miss him, because they start calling him names. Disgusting...


In one of the most important cricket matches ever played, India beat Pakistan by 29 runs (don't ask me what that means, just nod). New York Islanders captain Doug Weight is thinking about retiring at the end of the season. The Islanders lost against New Jersey, while the Rangers had a loss against Buffalo. And, in the NBA, the Knicks beat the Nets thanks to 39 points by Carmelo Anthony.

The Rudy Report says Happy Birthday to Chien-Ming Wang, Pavel "The Russian Rocket" Bure, Tom Barrasso, and Canadian hockey legend Gordie Howe. On this day in 1918, Daylight Savings Time went into effect for the first time in the United States. Have a great day, there is no new Dear Rudy right now, but get an idea about what your children will look like in the Random Fact section!

Potential Bonus - As the New York Mets are getting ready to entertain bids for a minority stake, there are rumors that parts of the network SNY may be part of a deal. Read here.

No Guarantee - AEG is not providing a guarantee for municipal bonds to be issued for a new NFL stadium, which is a change from the Staples Center deal. Read here.

Done Deal - A partner of the Boston Red Sox and other US investors are set to take over 60% of Italian soccer club AS Roma. Read here.

On The Hunt - The city of Anaheim has approved $75 million in bonds that will most likely insure that the Sacramento Kings move to town. Read here.

Words Of Advice

Written by Rudy on March 30, 2011 - 7:26 am -

Raise your hand (do it) if you love the Rudy Report.... no, the other hand, as you read the newest edition that will leave no questions unanswered, today on "National Take a Walk in the Park Day." It's, of course, very honorable if you want to help people in need. However, you have to be in a position to help others in order to be effective. Lehman Brothers, for example, should not give a homeless person a quarter, because they don't have any money themselves. The same logic applies for this scenario...


Premier League club Chelsea FC is offering $48 million for Brazilian striker Neymar. He is supposed to replace Didier Drogba who will leave at the end of the season. Manchester United wants to sign Inter Milan star Wesley Sneijder. The Rudy Report still endorses UConn as the favorite to win the NCAA men's basketball tournament. And, the baseball season is starting tomorrow, which means that the Yankees will play against the Red Sox only 473-times until the playoffs begin!

The Rudy Report says Happy Birthday to Ty Conklin, Eddie Jordan, Anatoliy Tymoshchuk, and Barbadian running legend Obadele Thompson. On this day in 1858, Hymen Lipman patented a pencil with an attached eraser. Well, he had to invent something to distract from his unfortunate name (Hymen Lip...., seriously?!?!). Have a great day, there is still the unforgettable Dear Rudy about holidays, and learn something about waking up in the Random Fact section!

Home Shopping - The future owner of Italian soccer club AS Roma has stated that his priority will be to look for a new stadium for the team. Read here.

Taking Shape - The future home of the Brooklyn Nets is progressing nicely as the project is on track to be completed on time. Read here.

No Happy Campers - The Maloof family is not happy about the city of Sacramento's attempt to interfere with the Kings' move to Anaheim. Read here.

Making The Cut

Written by Rudy on March 29, 2011 - 8:52 am -

This Rudy Report is a special edition, because if you read it very slowly, you will be more relaxed and refreshed, as opposed to reading the New Yorker, which just stresses you out with all the pseudo-intellectual stuff, today on "National Joe Day" (everyone who hates their name can be called "Joe" today). Sometimes people spend way too much time marketing a product, while forgetting about the product itself. Packaging and functionality, for example, matter. Here is one example: the new "Catch 22 Scissors"...


Manchester United will play against a Major League Soccer team in the league's All-Star Game in New Jersey in July. Barcelona is not willing to pay the 50 million Euro asking price by Arsenal for midfielder Cesc Fabregas. And, in the NBA, the Knicks had a huge overtime win against Orlando.

The Rudy Report says Happy Birthday to Rui Costa, Jennifer Capriati, Earl Campbell, Walt Frazier, and Estonian tennis sensation Juergen Zopp. On this day in 1886, Dr. John Pemberton brewed the first batch of Coca-Cola in a backyard in Atlanta, Georgia. I probably said that last year, but who cares? Have a great day, there is still the incredible new Dear Rudy about holidays, and you can learn something about Hawaii that you may not know in the Random Fact section!

On The Verge - The deal to sell the Houston Astros to local businessman Jim Crane is close to completion as both parties agree to major terms. Read here.

No Money Ball - A new report finds that billionaire owners don't exert tight control over their Major League Baseball franchises as opposed to owners in other leagues. Read here.

Helping With The Move - The city of Anaheim is tempted to finance the Sacramento Kings $75 million move to secure a basketball team for the town. Read here.

Home Improvement

Written by Rudy on March 28, 2011 - 7:44 am -

The Rudy Report would like to congratulate you for reading this edition, because, as you can probably tell, you are already smarter and we are still in the first sentence, today on "National Respect Your Cat Day." When you build a home, you have to be smart. Many mistakes can be made in the process. One of the most important places in your home is, of course, the bathroom...

Toilet 1_2

Few people know that Kobe Bryant would have almost been picked up by the New Jersey Nets in the 1996 Draft, which could have altered history significantly. The Rudy Report would like to congratulate Rudy favorite UConn, Kentucky, Butler, and VCU for screwing up every bracket in the nation. Oxford won the boat race against Cambridge. World champion Sebastian Vettel won the first Formula One race of the season in Australia. In the NHL, the Rangers beat Boston, while the Islanders lost against Philadelphia. And, in the NBA, the Knicks lost against Charlotte on Saturday.

The Rudy Report says Happy Birthday to Luke Walton, Erik Rasmussen, Ivan Helguera, and Lithuanian cycling legend Aiga Zagorska. On this day in 845, Paris was sacked by the Vikings, led by Ragnar Lodbrok, who collected a huge ransom in exchange for leaving. A normal day in France... Have a great week, there is a fantastic brand-new Dear Rudy about the worst holidays of the year, and you can learn something about Amish folks in the Random Fact section!

Continuing Bad News - Aside from a potentially disastrous Madoff lawsuit, the New York Mets have reportedly suffered more than $50 million in losses last year. Read here.

The Chosen One - Architecture firm Gensler has been chosen by AEG to design the new $1 billion National Football League stadium in downtown Los Angeles. Read here.