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Today February 09, 2016

Flexible Payments

Written by Rudy on April 09, 2012 - 6:52 am -

A new panel of so-called experts has found that the Rudy Report is more informative than Google, Wikipedia, and TMZ combined, which is nothing new for you, today on "National No House Work Day." We live in a capitalist society, which means that money rules the world. There are now more payment options than ever before. And sometimes, people can get really creative...


Anyways, yesterday was the first time in Rudy Report history that "National Draw a Picture of a Bird Day" fell on a weekend. Nevertheless, one of our most loyal readers, Barney M. Stanley-Smith (who hasn't submitted a Dear Rudy in a while... *crickets*...), did make the effort to submit his award-winning drawing of a bird (please note the attention to detail and the vast landscape in the background). It is the 6th year in a row that he has done it. Thank you and congratulations!


Bubba Watson won the Masters after beating Louis Ooostzzthuiyiyzzczen (or however you may spell that horrendous name) in an exciting playoff. Cambridge beat Oxford in the 158th edition of the famous boat race. New York Giants running back Brandon Jacobs will play for the San Francisco 49ers next season. The New York Knicks remained a playoff candidate after defeating Chicago in overtime. The New York Rangers will play against the Ottawa Senators in the first round of the playoffs. In baseball, the Yankees have lost all three games of the season against Tampa Bay, while the Mets have won all three against Atlanta. How bizarre, how bizarre! And, in the Premier League, Manchester United has all but secured the championship with a win against Queens Park Rangers, while Manchester City lost against Arsenal London. ManU now has an 8-point lead with 6 games to go.

The Rudy Report says Happy Birthday to David Robertson, Jeff Reed, Jacques Villeneuve, and Croatian soccer sensation Jerko Leko (He can be a jerk sometimes...). On this day in 1957, the Suez Canal in Egypt was cleared and opened to shipping. Have a great week, there is no new Dear Rudy right now, but find out which beer you should not drink in the Random Fact section!

Having A Plan - AEG has presented a plan for a football stadium development in Los Angeles, which could change many things in downtown, including traffic. Read here.

Getting In Shape

Written by Rudy on April 06, 2012 - 11:24 am -

You should take a moment, get up from your chair, bow down, wave at people and thank yourself for deciding to read this Rudy Report, which is the right thing to do, today on "National Jump Over Things Day." As the summer approaches, you need to get in shape for the beach. You wanna look good. But most people, unlike Rudy, have to work hard on their physique. Working out is important...


At the Masters, Lee Westwood took the lead at 5 under par, but lots of players still have a chance. Atletico Madrid will face Valencia, and Lisbon will play against Bilbao in the semifinals of the Spanish... oh wait, of the Europa League. In baseball, the New York Mets opened the season like every year: with a win (against Atlanta), but fans know that this doesn't mean anything... In the NHL, the Rangers lost against Pittsburgh, while the Islanders beat Winnipeg. And, in the NBA, the Knicks beat Orlando.

The Rudy Report says Happy Birthday to Tim Hasselbeck, Olaf Koelzig, Bret Boone, and American drag racing legend Don "The Snake" Prudhomme. On this day in 1869, celluloid was patented. Have a great weekend, there is no new Dear Rudy at the moment, but learn something about lifting weights with your ears in the Random Fact section!

Southern Three-Way - There are currently three different investors interested in buying National Basketball Association franchise New Orleans Hornets. Read here.

Scottish Three - Way - The bankruptcy administrators of troubled Scottish club Glasgow Rangers are in negotiations with three different groups about a sale. Read here. 

Lifelong Learner

Written by Rudy on April 05, 2012 - 9:00 am -

People have described reading the Rudy Report as an amazing sensation, comparable only to the great feeling you get from returning from weeks of vacation and finally being able to use your own toilet again, which is just wonderful, today on "National Read a Road Map Day." You think it is easy to be African American?!? You think wearing pants down to your knees, leaving the stickers on the baseball hat, and calling themselves names comes easy? Well, think again! It is a whole learning process and hard work...


The Masters are starting today and the Rudy Report thinks that Tiger Woods has a real chance to win the tournament again. Manchester City striker Sergio Aguero may move to Real Madrid in the summer. The New York Knicks may sign Kentucky championship coach John Calipari. And, in the UEFA Champions League, Real Madrid and Chelsea FC advanced to the semifinals as expected. They will now face Bayern Munich and FC Barcelona respectively.

The Rudy Report says Happy Birthday to Thomas Hitzlsperger, Franziska van Almsick, Tony Banks, John Kriek, and Cypriot skiing talent Sophia Papamichalopoulou. On this day in 1967, Wilt Chamberlain set an NBA record with 41 rebounds in a game. Have a great day, there is no new Dear Rudy right now, but learn something about the lottery in the Random Fact section!

To The Rescue - A group of investors called the "Blue Knights" has submitted a bid and is close to taking Scottish soccer club Glasgow Rangers out of bankruptcy. Read here.

Land Play - A new report suggests that the future owners of the Los Angeles Dodgers have to make money with the land surrounding the stadium in order to justify the $2 billion price tag. Read here. 

Cute Couple Edition

Written by Rudy on April 04, 2012 - 10:52 am -

The Rudy Report would like to point out while people worry about humanitarian disasters in Africa or Asia, we sometimes forget to look at the terrible things that go on much closer to us, so maybe you should go and watch a Mets game, today on "National Walk Around Things Day." There are people in the world that find each other, and when you look at them, you know they are meant to be. They look right for each other. Just like these two cuties right here...

Couple 1_1

In the UEFA Champions League, Bayern Munich (vs. Marseille) and Barcelona (vs. AC Milan) became the first two teams to qualify for the semi-finals. They will most likely be joined by Real Madrid and Chelsea FC later today. In the NHL, the New York Rangers beat Philadelphia, while the Islanders lost against New Jersey. And, in the NBA, the New York Knicks lost against Indiana.

The Rudy Report says Happy Birthday to Sami Khedira, Roberto Luongo, Kevin Weekes, and Australian speed skating legend Colin Coates. On this day in 1581, Francis Drake was knighted for completing the circumnavigation of the world. Have a great day, there is no new Dear Rudy at the moment, but learn something interesting about McDonald's in the Random Fact section!

Build And Buy - The developers of a football stadium in Los Angeles are ready to buy an NFL franchise to make the deal happen. Read here.

Home Away From Home

Written by Rudy on April 03, 2012 - 1:14 am -

The Rudy Report has made the impossible possible and has gone platinum with multiple reports, despite that fact that we have nothing at all to do with music, which is incredible, today on "National Find a Rainbow Day." Rudy is calling a bottom in the housing market. Now is the time to get some real estate. Savvy investors have done it. Real estate developers have done it. And Germany did it, too...


The Masters will begin on Thursday, and Tiger Woods is back as one of the favorites, aside from current No. 1 Hunter Mahan. There weren't any major games in the NHL or NBA. And, in the NCAA Men's College Basketball Final Four March Madness Final Competition Tournament Game, Kentucky beat Kansas as expected.

The Rudy Report says Happy Birthday to Picabo Street (sounds like a Pokemon), Tommy Haas, Jack Del Rio, Wally Moon, Bernie Parent, and Japanese baseball legend Koji Uehara. On this day in 1973, Martin Cooper of Motorola made the first handheld mobile phone call to Joel S. Engel of Bell Labs, though it took ten years for the DynaTAC 8000X to become the first such phone to be commercially released. Have a great day, there is no new Dear Rudy right now, but find out which US President had the biggest feet in the Random Fact section!

He's A Keeper - Michael Jordan has denied rumors that he is looking to sell NBA franchise Charlotte Bobcats as the team struggles on the court. Read here.