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Today March 22, 2019

Fly Away

Written by Rudy on April 19, 2011 - 8:38 am -

The Rudy Report would like to deny rumors that if you read the report backwards, you will get a secret message explaining..... nevermind, today on "National Go Fly a Kite Day." Work can be a great place, but a lot depends on the people you work with. That's why the Rudy Report has been rated "World's Best Workplace" for the past 19 years or so. Some people are less fortunate and may be interested in this sign...


German national goalkeeper Manuel Neuer seems to be on the verge of transferring to Bayern Munich for 22 million Euros. No New York team played baseball, hockey, football, or basketball today, making it one of the city's slowest sports days.

The Rudy Report says Happy Birthday to Joe Mauer, Maria Sharapova, Martin Havlat, and Italian soccer sensation Rocco Sabato (that would be Rick Saturday in English). On this day in 1770, Captain James Cook sighted the eastern coast of Australia. Have a great day, there is still the very timely Dear Rudy about Valentine's Day, and learn something cool about steel in the Random Fact section!

Binding Commitment - The New York Mets are asking leading bidders to submit a proposal in the next few days so that a decision can be made. Read here.

Italian Job - American investor Thomas Di Benedetto has confirmed that him and his group have taken over Italian Serie A club AS Roma. Read here.

Loan Agreement - Los Angeles Dodgers owner Frank McCourt was reportedly forced to take a $30 million loan from Fox Sports to meet payroll. Read here.

Requiring More Time - National Basketball Association Commissioner David Stern thinks that more time is needed before the New Orleans Hornets can be sold. Read here.

Brave Move

Written by Rudy on April 18, 2011 - 8:03 am -

The Rudy Report is the only entity in the world that has approval from all political parties, no matter if it's left or right, middle, green, or whatever else you may believe in, today on "National Animal Cracker Day." Safety at the workplace is one of Rudy's most important guidelines. That's why we recommend to wear a seat belt while reading the Rudy Report at all times. Some people are bigger risk takers, however. Like this guy right here...


In the NBA playoffs, the Knicks had a close loss against Boston, which means that they are now trailing in the series 1-0. In baseball, the Mets beat Atlanta, while the Yankees probably beat Texas (taking an educated guess here). In the Premier League, Arsenal and Liverpool had a 1-1 tie, while Chelsea won, and the other big teams will play later in the week. In the game of titans in Spain's top division, Barcelona and Real Madrid had a 1-1 tie. And, in the NHL playoffs, the Rangers finally beat Washington to get back in the series, trailing 2-1.

The Rudy Report says Happy Birthday to Scott Hartnell, Valeri Kamensky, Matthew Upson, and Ethiopian long distance running legend Haile Gebrselassie (yup, spelling is correct. Rudy don't make no typos yo). On this day in 1981, the longest professional baseball game in history begun in Pawtucket, Rhode Island. The game was suspended at 4AM the next morning and finally completed on June 23rd. Have a great week, there is a great new Dear Rudy about Valentine's Day reservations, and learn something about Ohio that not even Ohio knew in the Random Fact section!

Planning The Move Already - Despite denials, it looks like the move of the Phoenix Coyotes to Winnipeg is already a done deal. Read here.

Down To Four - The New York Mets have announced that there are four bidders left for a minority stake and a final decision is expected to be made by the end of May. Read here.

Positive Tone - The owner of the Minnesota Vikings is confident that legislators will make it possible for the franchise to build a new stadium. Read here.

Saving Sacramento - Billionaire Ron Burkle is making a last minute effort to keep the NBA Kings franchise in Sacramento or move another team to town. Read here.

Big Deal - Fox Sports has signed college football division Big 12 to a multi-year, $1.1 billion contract to show several American Football games. Read here.

Privately Held - New reports reveal that Tom Gores himself and not his private equity company has taken ownership of the Detroit Pistons. Read here.

Everybody Loves Pizza

Written by Rudy on April 15, 2011 - 9:06 am -

A new study conducted by scientists of a renowned Nigerian university has found that reading the Rudy Report increases your chances of winning the lottery by almost 5%, which is nice and expected today on "National Art History Day." One of Rudy's favorite meals is pizza. Why? Because it is delicious. Well, most of the time, unless you go to this place right here...


Kobe Bryant has been fined $100,000 for a homophobic slur. He responded to the fine by saying "That's gay." Anyways, Chelsea FC is said to be interested in signing Guus Hiddink as coach for next season. In baseball, the Mets gave their fans two opportunities to hate their own team: first they lost against Colorado, and then, later in the day, they lost against Colorado again... And, in the NBA, the Knicks will take on Boston on Sunday in Game 1 of the playoffs.

The Rudy Report says Happy Birthday to Ilya Kovalchuk, Milton Bradley, Jason Sehorn, and Luxembourgish cycling sensation Frank Schleck. On this day in 1892, the General Electric Company was formed. Have a great weekend, there is still the Dear Rudy about sports ownership, and learn something interesting about Christmas in New York in the Random Fact section!

Moving Coyote - After years of struggles in Arizona, new reports suggest that the Phoenix Coyotes could finally be on the move to Canada. Read here.

Newspaper Stake - A new disclosure reveals that the New York Times is the second largest stakeholder in Premier League club Liverpool FC. Read here.

Fan Power - The person who wants the fans to own the Toronto Maple Leafs claims that he has raised $100 million so far for a bid. Read here.

Buying More - Asian investor Carson Yeung has increased his ownership stake in British soccer club Birmingham City to 24.9%. Read here.

Daring Question

Written by Rudy on April 14, 2011 - 8:39 am -

The Rudy Report would like to remind you that we are only 10 months away from Valentine's Day, which means that you better start making reservations if you still want to get a table in New York, today on "National Elephant Day." As you know, Dear Rudy is one of the most popular sections of the Rudy Report. We get great questions all the time. If you have one on your mind, don't hesitate and ask! Don't be afraid! Like this guy right here...


Spain remains the number one ranked soccer team in the world. Meanwhile, Liverpool FC seems to be interested in signing Bayern Munich striker Mario Gomez. In the Champions League, German team Schalke beat Inter Milan, and Real Madrid advanced against Tottenham. Schalke will now face Manchester United in the semifinals. Real will play against Barcelona. In the NBA, Boston beat the Knicks. In baseball, the Yankees beat Baltimore, while the Mets lost against Colorado. And, in the NHL playoffs, the Rangers had a tough overtime loss against Washington in Game 1 of the series.

The Rudy Report says Happy Birthday to Kyle Farnsworth, Anderson Silva, Roberto Ayala, Brad Ausmus, David Justice, Pete Rose, and Gaelic football legend Mickey "Ned" O'Sullivan. On this day in 1828, Noah Webster copyrighted the first edition of his dictionary. Have a great day, there is still the Dear Rudy about sports ownership, and learn something about executives that you may know already in the Random Fact section!

Keeping The Stake - Russian billionaire Alisher Usmanov says that he will not sell his ownership stake in Arsenal London to Stan Kroenke. Read here.

Power Player - Hedge fund billionaire Steve Cohen is yet another bidder ready to make a bid for a minority stake in the New York Mets. Read here.

Team Influx - A new report examines the potential effects of having a large number of National Hockey League franchises in Canada. Read here.

A Word On Brooklyn

Written by Rudy on April 13, 2011 - 8:24 am -

The Rudy Report is proud to announce that Rudy has been confirmed once again as the Supreme Leader at this year's Annual Rudy Report Meeting, receiving 100% of positive votes, today on "National Blame Someone Else Day." A recent Rudy Report tweet has sparked some controversy. It read: "I'd rather live inside of Reactor 3 in Fukushima than move to Brooklyn. If you think that's harsh, then you haven't been to Brooklyn." Rudy doesn't understand the uproar. Maybe you'll understand when you look at Brooklyn's infamous inhabitants. This is just a random sample...


The New York Jets may be interested in signing Randy Moss if next season takes place. Manchester United and FC Barcelona are the first two teams that qualified for the Champions League semifinals. The other two teams will be determined today. Rudy was the top celebrity in the crowd at the Knicks-Bulls game. They result was some real bullsh**t. The Bulls won the game easily. And, in baseball, the Yankees game versus Baltimore was postponed, while the Mets game was also postponed due to rain and/or general misery.

The Rudy Report says Happy Birthday to Baron Davis, Carles Puyol (just as bad as Charl), Davis Love III, Rudi Voeller, and American basketball maverick Bo Outlaw (get it?!?!). On this day in 1870, the Metropolitan Museum of Art was founded. Have a great day, there is the new Dear Rudy about banning people from sports ownership, and learn something about Paris that you didn't know in the Random Fact section!

Tough Sell - A fan group has already stated that they will not sell their shares to Stan Kroenke, making a takeover of Arsenal London slightly more difficult. Read here.

Talking Again - The NFL and the Players' Association are back in mediation talks to find a solution so that next season can get back on track. Read here.

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