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THE RUDY REPORT

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Today July 19, 2018

LMAOSHMSFOAIDMT

Written by Rudy on February 15, 2011 - 8:54 am -

The Rudy Report still loves all (or, well, most) of you readers, even though Valentine's Day is over, which is nice for you to know, today on "National Telecommuter Appreciation Day." You all know the common Internet chat expression "LOL" (Laughing Out Loudly). Then there is "LMAO" = Laughing My Ass Off. But the Rudy Report endorses a newer, more precise version: LMAOSHMSFOAIDMT, which stands for: Laughing My Ass Off So Hard My Sombrero Fell Off And I Dropped My Taco. Meanwhile in Egypt...

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Tiger Woods got fined by the European Tour for spitting on the golf course. Joba Chamberlain may not make the Yankees roster this season. All New York teams had the night off for Valentine's Day, which was a smart move. Michael Vick knows that it's easy to get into the doghouse if you are not considerate enough...

The Rudy Report says Happy Birthday to Russell Martin, Jaromir Jagr, Oscar Freire, Alexander Wurz, and New Zealand's kickboxing pride Ray Sefo. On this day in 2005, YouTube was launched. Have a great day, there is still no new Dear Rudy, but find out where you need to go if you are looking for gold in the Random Fact section!

Domino Effect - The New York Islanders may be in trouble due to the Mets owners' Madoff involvement, which could destroy hopes for a new arena or potential buyer. Read here.

House Hunting - After getting the boot from the Olympic Stadium, Premier League club Tottenham Hotspurs is looking for alternatives. Read here.

Extended Version - Billionaire Tom Gores looks like he may be the next owner of the Detroit Pistons, but negotiations are still ongoing. Read here.

Still Talking - Despite visible tensions, the NFL Players' Association is still in talks with owners to find a solution for a new Collective Bargaining Agreement. Read here.

Valentine's Day Edition

Written by Rudy on February 14, 2011 - 8:04 am -

The Rudy Report would like to emphasize that all (or most) readers are being loved, and this love comes every day in the form of impeccable news and wonderful facts, like today on "National Get a Different Name Day." On a day like Valentine's Day, a lot of couples declare their love to each other. Some even get married. But if you do get married, make sure you do it in a classy way, like these folks right here...

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The Rudy Report was live at one of the craziest hockey games ever played. The New York Islanders beat Pittsburgh 9-3, but the real highlights were the brawls and a record of 364 combined penalty minutes. The Rangers played against the Penguins on Sunday and won 5-3. The Islanders then went on to beat Buffalo 7-6 in overtime. In the NBA, the Knicks beat the Nets. And, in the English Premier League, Manchester United won the Derby against Manchester City. It was an important 2-1 victory. Arsenal and Tottenham won, while Liverpool had a draw against Wigan. Chelsea has yet to play against Fulham.

The Rudy Report says Happy Birthday to Marian Gaborik, Richard Hamilton, Cadel Evans, Drew Bledsoe, and Italian cycling hero Gianni Bugno. On this day in 1849, James Knox Polk became the first US President to have his photograph taken. The others before him were probably a bit camera shy... Have a great week, there is no new Dear Rudy right now, but find out why you're tired in the Random Fact section!

Looking Like A Done Deal - Billionaire Tom Gores appears to have a deal to buy the Detroit Pistons for $420 million after months of negotiations. Read here.

League Versus Pub - The Premier League's lucrative television deal may be in trouble after a pub owner objected to high payments, possibly costing all clubs a lot of money. Read here.

If We Build It... - The city of Quebec wants a National Hockey League franchise and is willing to spend millions for a new arena to lure a team. Read here.

Epic Wait - Tom Hicks and George Gillett have to wait two more weeks before they find out if they can sue regarding the Liverpool FC sale referred to as "The Epic Swindle." Read here.

According To Plan - The city of Glendale is selling millions in bonds to pave the way for Matthew Hulsizer to take over the Phoenix Coyotes. Read here.

Outstanding Tombstones Part 3

Written by Rudy on February 11, 2011 - 7:16 am -

A new survey has found that 78.1% of readers prefer to read the Rudy Report over vacationing in Egypt, which is encouraging news, today on "National Make a Friend Day." Before we head into the weekend, let's have a look at another edition from our highly popular series "Outstanding Tombstones." This one certainly deserves to be shared (except with Ricardo)...

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The game between Manchester United and Manchester City this weekend is said to be the most expensive sports match-up in history, because both teams will have spent a combined $850 million to acquire all players in their squads. As a comparison: Yankees vs. Red Sox would be close to "just" $380 million. Terrell Owens would like to play for the Jets. In the NBA, the Lakers beat Boston. And, in the NHL, the Islanders beat Montreal in a shoot-out.

The Rudy Report says Happy Birthday to Steve McManaman, Rafael van der Vaart, Kelly Slater (not a girl, but has a girl's name; Rudy-suggested nickname: Surfer Girl), and American speed skating legend Mary Docter. On this day in 660 BC, Japan was founded. Have a great weekend, there is no new Dear Rudy at the moment, but learn something about Monaco that you did not know for sure in the Random Fact section!

Spain Still Ahead - In its annual analysis of soccer club revenues, Deloitte finds that Spanish giants Real Madrid and Barcelona still dominate. Read here.

Thumbs Up - Formula One boss Bernie Ecclestone has expressed his support of Williams F1's decision to offer shares to the public. Read here.

And The Winner Is - Premier League club West Ham United beat Tottenham Hotspurs for the right to use the Olympic Stadium as their home after the London Olympics in 2012. Read here.

A Learning Experience

Written by Rudy on February 10, 2011 - 10:57 am -

The Rudy Report would like to point out that any reader who also visits the Huffington Post or has an AOL account (congrats on the acquisition, by the way, that's like a wheelchaired geriatric buying a snowboard) will be banned, which is nothing personal, but simply a quality management issue, today on "National Leadership Day" (not observed in Germany anymore for historical reasons). As you know, it is getting tougher and tougher to get into the best universities. At the same time, tuition goes through the roof. Well, there may be some cheaper, yet equally rewarding options, such as this one...

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After his terrible crash last weekend, Formula One driver Robert Kubica is awake again and can move his hand that was severely injured. Baseball star Albert Pujols is still unsure about his future with the Cardinals. In the NBA, the Knicks lost against the LA Clippers.

The Rudy Report says Happy Birthday to Mike Ribeiro, Lance Berkman, Ty Law, John Calipari, and bankrupt-like-the-Mets-owners former baseball legend Lenny "Nails" Dykstra. On this day in 1863, the fire extinguisher was patented. Have a great day, there is no new Dear Rudy, but check out the wild history of Fanta in the Random Fact section!

The Fight That Never Ends - Tom Hicks and the Royal Bank of Scotland are back in court over the sale of Liverpool FC to John Henry. Read here.

Wanting It All - Rock star Jon Bon Jovi has confirmed that he would like to become an owner of a National Football League franchise, such as the Atlanta Falcons. Read here.

Going Public - At the initial public offering of Formula One team Williams, the business is valued at 265 million Euros, which should raise enough money to stay competitive. Read here.

Clash Of The Titans - The European Club Association has expressed dissatisfaction about how world soccer organization FIFA is governing the sport. Read here.

On Their Own - The executive responsible for building a new National Football League stadium in Los Angeles says that it will be built without any taxpayer money. Read here.

Opposite Day 2011

Written by Rudy on February 09, 2011 - 7:33 am -

You are reading the Wednesday Edition of the Rudy Report (provided you actually know how to read) which means that you are making a difference in the world, not by saving lives (but frankly, only people in movies save lives anyways), but by getting smarter, today on "National Opposite Day." And since it's Opposite Day (clearly one of the best holidays of the year), opposites will trickle down to every aspect of life today. Even in the news...

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After acquiring Fernando Torres, Chelsea FC is reportedly interested in signing Cesc Fabregas next. In the NHL, the Islanders lost against Toronto, while the Devils beat Carolina in overtime thanks to a goal by Mattias Tedenby.

The Rudy Report says Happy Birthday to Vladimir Guerrero (Russian first name, Hispanic last name, kind of like Oleg Sanchez), Magdalena Neuner, John Kruk, and Taiwanese professional pool legend Wu Chia-ching (not to be confused with gardening legend Wu Chia-pets). On this day in 1870, the US Weather Bureau was established. Have a great day, check out some of the most recent Dear Rudy contributions, and find out which animal is America's most popular in the Random Fact section!

Popular Partner - Dallas Mavericks owner Mark Cuban says that several groups want him as a partner to take a minority stake in the New York Mets. Read here.

Double Bogey - The PGA Tour is getting sued by the receiver in the Allen Stanford case, saying that it should not have received millions in payments. Read here.

Lost In Translation - A new article explores the differences in expressions between sports fans in the United States and fans in Great Britain. Read here.

Pending Transaction - After more than two years of processing, the ownership stake of the Arizona Diamondbacks will finally be transferred. Read here.


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