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Cool, But Not Cool Enough

Written by Rudy on July 21, 2010 - 5:45 am -

Sometimes, when things look bleak and you don't know what to do, you can always have a look at the Rudy Report and find a solution for virtually anything, like today on "National Don't Step on a Bee Day." Obviously, everyone that reads the Rudy Report is part of the global cool crowd of international insiders. The guy in the picture below seems cool at first, but it turns out that he isn't cool at all and not a Rudy Report reader as you can see in the second scene...


The NHL has voided Ilya Kovalchuk's 17-year contract with the New Jersey Devils. You simply can't make a deal with the devil... Several European soccer teams have started to ban vuvuzelas from their games. Meanwhile, Didier Drogba might move to Manchester City for GBP 30 million. And, in baseball, the Mets played too late again, while the Yankees lost against the Angels.

The Rudy Report says Happy Birthday to CC Sabathia, Kellen Winslow, and ski jumping hero Jens Weissflog. On this day in 1969, Neil Armstrong and Buzz Aldrin became the first men to walk on the Moon. If you thought Michael Jackson was the first to do it, you were wrong... Have a great day, there is still no new Dear Rudy, but check out a great baseball comment in the Funny Sports Quote section!

Good Deal - The costs for the 2012 Olympic Games in London will be lower than expected with new estimates of GBP 9.298 billion being GBP 6 million less. Read here.

World Cup Effect - The World Cup in South Africa will push the country's pending interest rate cuts further back due to a positive financial effect. Read here.

Pressure On Monaco - Formula One boss Bernie Ecclestone is asking Monte Carlo to pay more money for the right to host a Grand Prix race. Read here.

Breach Of Contract - JPMorgan is suing the Texas Rangers for breaching a loan agreement by modifying it with its ballpark lease. Read here.

Final Countdown - Despite differences, George Shinn and Gary Chouest seem ready to finalize the ownership transfer of the New Orleans Hornets. Read here.

Right On Schedule

Written by Rudy on July 20, 2010 - 9:06 am -

It has been almost a year since the Rudy Report posted an issue on July 20th, and so it's about time to change that, today on "National Ugly Truck Contest Day." Obviously, the Rudy Report is always on time, and you can count on it every day, except for vacation breaks, of course. With other things, like flights, you should always check the departure schedule for delays. Who knows, maybe the screen will show some good news, like this one right here...


FC Barcelona has announced to spend another GBP 50 million on player acquisitions. The New York Yankees are interested in Cubs pitcher Ted Lilly. And, in baseball, the Yankees did not play, while the Mets played way too late for anyone to care... They probably either won or lost.

The Rudy Report says Happy Birthday to Stephen Strasburg, Pavel Datsyuk, Ray Allen, Peter Forsberg, and German touring car legend Bernd Schneider. On this day in 1976, Hank Aaron hit his 755th home run; the final home run of his career. Have a great day, there is no new Dear Rudy so far, but you can learn something about pizza boxes in the Random Fact section!

New Sheriff In Town - Dallas Mavericks owner Mark Cuban is showing interest in the Texas Rangers, possibly leading to a bid in the next few weeks. Read here.

British Yankees - The Steinbrenner family is denying rumors that they have offered GBP 450 million to acquire London club Tottenham Hotspur. Read here.

No New Star - The National Hockey League says it is not true that Canadian businessman Bill Gallacher has submitted a $225 million bid for the Dallas Stars. Read here.

Still Bankrupt - English Premier League club Portsmouth FC is still in administration after months of difficult negotiations with various parties. Read here.

The Big Divide - The sale of the New Orleans Hornets, which seemed to be a done deal for a long time, has hit a road block with buyer and seller being millions apart in the sale price. Read here.

Rudy's Glorious Return

Written by Rudy on July 19, 2010 - 7:20 am -

Just when you got used to Rudy not bothering you anymore every morning, the Rudy Report returns in full strength, ready to tell you things that you already know, and some you might not, like today on "National Intern Appreciation Day." Clearly, you didn't miss much aside from Paul the Octopus dominating the World Cup, a never-ending Wimbledon tennis match, BP stopping the oil spill, Lindsay Lohan going to jail, Roman Polanski not going to jail (it should be the other way around, people!), and George Steinbrenner joining the Angels. Oh, and LeBron James decided not to come to New York, because he correctly realized that there can only be one king in the city, and that's Rudy. Real big headline news will be back starting today. To start you off properly, here are a few pics from Rudy's summer vacation...

Had a terrible taxi driver when I arrived in Baghdad:


Was forced to buy myself a car after that crash. Rudy only rides in style...


On the way back, long lines at the airport...


Spent the last few days of my vacation in Egypt with an old Russian friend...


Soccer star Ronaldinho might join MLS club LA Galaxy soon. Louis Oosthuizen won the British Open. Commentators were more concerned with the correct pronunciation of his name than with his actual performance... Andy Schleck remains in yellow at the Tour de France. And, in baseball, the Yankees beat Tampa Bay, while the Mets beat the Giants.

The Rudy Report says Happy Birthday to Vitali Klitschko, Ilie Nastase, Adam Morrison, and Rick Ankiel. On this day in 1991, Cal Ripken played his 1,500th consecutive baseball game. That guy must have no social life... Have a great day, send in some new Dear Rudys, and check out a great golf statement in the Funny Sports Quote section!

Mystery Franchise - A team from the English Premier League is apparently interested in bidding for a Major League Soccer expansion franchise in Atlanta. Read here.

Looking At Vegas - The Detroit Pistons are denying rumors that the NBA franchise might be moving to Las Vegas, which is said to be an attractive location for the league. Read here.

Cash Flow Management - Spanish top club FC Barcelona has to take out a GBP 130 million loan to finance its ongoing cash flow problems. Read here.

Surprising Winners - The Golden State Warriors have been sold for $450 million to a group led by Peter Guber and Joe Lacob, who were able to beat Larry Ellison and others. Read here.

Off Court Activity - Wimbledon winner Rafael Nadal has acquired a stake in Spanish club RCD Mallorca to help the club deal with its dire financial situation. Read here.

The Official Rudy Report Summer Break

Written by Rudy on June 10, 2010 - 5:34 am -


 The Rudy Report will be back on July 19, 2010!!!!

Rudy is on vacation! The Rudy Report will return on July 19, 2010. Until then, Rudy hopes that you will enjoy the summer. After the break, the Rudy Report will continue to supply you with everything you need to survive in this world. If you have any questions, please let Rudy know! We are looking for new Dear Rudy questions. Please submit your Dear Rudy either on the site or e-mail Rudy directly using his private and super-secret e-mail address

And, of course, you can still follow Rudy on Twitter, which will continue all summer long! Simply click here and enjoy! Rudy will be be somewhere warm, probably on a beach...


The Big Pre-Summer Break Edition

Written by Rudy on June 09, 2010 - 5:51 am -

This is the last edition of the Rudy Report before the big Summer Break, which is kindly being instituted by Rudy not to steal any global focus away from the World Cup, which is a nice and honorable move, today on "National Accordion Awareness Day." Don't be too sad. The Rudy Report will celebrate its glorious return once the Summer Break has ended on July 19th! That's only a short 5-week break. Don't expect to get a "new and improved" Rudy Report when it returns though, because it is impossible to get any newer and/or better. To make it through the summer easier, Rudy has decided to post not one, but 3 pictures for you today! Also, be sure to follow Rudy on Twitter, which will continue throughout the break.

Anyways, before the World Cup starts. They need to get the ball back from this guy...


And while Rudy is on break, you could take care of some unfinished business...


Oh, and make sure to put in a little more effort if you want to make a difference in the world...


The series of injuries continues. Portuguese star Nani will miss the World Cup with a shoulder injury. Meanwhile, Chelsea FC is interested in signing Munich midfielder Bastian Schweinsteiger. In baseball, the Yankees beat Baltimore easily, while the Mets were able to win against San Diego. Rookie pitching sensation Stephen Strasburg made his debut for the Washington Nationals and won his first MLB game ever against Pittsburgh. And, in the NBA Finals, the Lakers showed an impressive performance on the road, defeating Boston to regain a 2-1 series lead.

The Rudy Report says Happy Birthday Miroslav Klose, Wesley Sneijder, Udonis Haslem, Jeff Saturday, Peja Stojakovic, Otto Addo, Tedy Bruschi, Eric Wynalda, and Dick "Baby" Vitale. On this day in 1973, Secretariat became the first Triple Crown winner in 25 years by winning the Belmont Stakes horse race. Have a great summer, check out all the Dear Rudys and write some new ones, and learn something about paying bills in the Random Fact section!

Official Wizard - Washington Capitals owner Ted Leonsis has officially been confirmed as the new owner of the Washington Wizards NBA franchise. Read here.

Red Flags Everywhere - Consulting company Deloitte has warned that rising salaries in the Premier League could lead to the financial destruction of the sport. Read here.

Family Business - Stan Kroenke has outlined his plan to buy the St. Louis Rams, while keeping his other sports franchises in the name of the family. Read here.

Moving On - An investor group led by Chicago sports franchise owner Jerry Reinsdorf is withdrawing its bid for the Phoenix Coyotes for good. Read here.

California Crisis - Sports teams in Southern California have to deal with decreasing revenues as a result of the sharp recession in the state. Read here.

Positive Impact - A new study has found that the World Cup in South Africa will have a positive impact on retail spending in the United Kingdom. Read here.

Looking To Buy - Entertainment industry executive David Geffen is said to be interested in acquiring a control stake in the Los Angeles Clippers. Read here.