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Today April 29, 2017

The 200th Edition

Written by Rudy on October 12, 2009 - 4:44 am -

The Rudy Report is celebrating its 200th online edition, which would have not been possible without all you great readers, without Michael Vick, and without the Phoenix Coyotes, urging everyone to party despite today being "International Moment of Frustration Scream Day." To celebrate, fans have requested to re-post the most famous Dear Rudy about Facebook Guidelines, which Rudy is going to make happen today. In addition, there are not one, but two pictures in this 200th edition. I have to say that Rudy Report readers are truly part of the elite and simply genuine people, unlike these folks in the picture below who clearly lack originality...


Many of you have also craved some of the good old jokes about France, which are always a winner and you know that the French won't defend themselves. With that in mind, the Rudy Report has compiled some famous quotes about France (and yes, all of these are real quotes! Not kidding).

"Going to war without France is like going deer hunting without your accordion."

- Norman Schwartzkopf

"France has neither winter, nor summer, nor morals. Apart from these drawbacks, it is a fine country."

- Mark Twain

"As far as I'm concerned, war always means failure."

- Jacques Chirac

"As far as France is concerned, you're right."

- Rush Limbaugh, prospective St. Louis Rams owner

"The only way the French are going in is if we tell them we found truffles in Iraq."

- Dennis Miller

And here is just one example of how Rudy Report readers around the world have celebrated this very special 200th edition, which - judging from the picture below - must have coincided with "Bad Hair Day"...


There have been two big surprises in recent days: Barack Obama won the Nobel Peace Prize and, even more shockingly, the cormorant has been voted "Bird of the Year." The news were hard to swallow, especially for the swallow... Let's focus on sports news. Germany qualified for the World Cup, to be held in South Africa next year, after beating Russia 1-0. In college football, Florida, Texas, and Alabama all won their games to stay on top. The New York Giants stayed undefeated in the NFL, easily beating the Oakland Raiders. The Jets will face Miami on Monday Night Football tonight. The Dodgers swept St. Louis to win the NLDS. We are going to the next round of MLB playoffs barefoot. No more Sox! The Boston Red Sox were reminded once again that they will remain in the shadow of the Yankees forever, getting eliminated by the LA Angels in just 3 games. Of course, the Angels will play their final games of the season against the New York Yankees who beat Minnesota as expected. The United States won the President's Cup, which discriminates against Europeans, with Tiger Woods clinching the title for the US on Sunday. The New York Rangers beat Anaheim 3-0 at home. And, there was also a NASCAR race with cars going around in circles for a few hours.

The Rudy Report says Happy Birthday to Bode Miller, Dwayne Roloson, and Dusty Rhodes. On this day in 1999, the proclaimed 6 billionth living human being was born. Have a great week, check out all parts about Rudy's Facebook Guidelines posted at once in Dear Rudy, and read today's Random Fact so you can add something special to every dinner conversation!

New Sports - The International Olympic Committee has approved golf and rugby sevens as official Olympic sports starting with the Summer Olympics in Rio in 2016. Read here.

Still Interested - Ice Edge Holdings is apparently still interested in owning the Phoenix Coyotes with negotiations said to be progressing with the NHL. Read here.

Making A Comeback - Former West Ham United owner Eggert Magnusson might be preparing a rescue bid for the struggling Premier League club. Read here.

New Home Buyer - Atlanta Falcons owner Arthur Blank says his franchise is in need of a newer and better arena in order to keep attracting fans. Read here.

Money Machine - After announcing record TV revenues earlier this week, the International Olympic Committee is set to reach $1 billion in sponsorship revenues for the 2010 and 2012 Olympics. Read here.

Survival Of The Best Informed

Written by Rudy on October 09, 2009 - 8:15 am -

The Rudy Report is one of the most well-regarded publications internationally, which is proven by its international audience made up of readers from over 60 countries, including Zimbabwe, Chile, Sri Lanka, and Barbados, which is a nice bit of information to start the weekend and to get ready for the 200th Online Edition of the Rudy Report on Monday, today on "National Sneakers Day." So the Rudy Report is your guide to be informed and to survive wherever you are in the world. The chart below gives you some guidance on how to detect certain threats in unfamiliar territory...


Last night, several teams competed for the title of World Series runner-up as future champion New York Yankees had the day off. The Dodgers went ahead 2-0 in their series against St. Louis. The Phillies lost to Colorado, tying the series at 1-1. In the NHL, the Islanders lost against Ottawa in overtime. The New York Rangers beat the Capital 4-3 thanks to 2 late goals by Marian Gaborik.

The Rudy Report says Happy Birthday to Henrik Zetterberg, Annika Sorenstam, and Australia's soccer pride Mark Viduka. On this day in 1919, the Cincinnati Reds "won" the World Series as opponent Chicago White Sox intentionally lost the game as part of the "Black Sox Scandal." Have a great weekend, check out some older Dear Rudys, and find out something you didn't know about your nose in the Random Fact section!

Money Honey - New Portsmouth FC owner Ali Al-Faraj is expected to be able to provide the club with enough funds to get it out of trouble instantly. Read here.

Gold Medal - The International Olympic Committee has earned more than $3.8 billion in TV revenues for the 2010 and 2012 Olympic Games, which is $1.2 billion more than last time. Read here.

Debt Hurdle - Premier League club Liverpool FC's high debt levels could prevent George Gillett and Tom Hicks from getting a Saudi prince on board as part-owner. Read here.

Getting Worse - After being banned from Formula One, Flavio Briatore has been asked by the FA to explain his situation, which could result in him having to sell his Queens Park Rangers stake. Read here.

Political Debate - After rumors suggested that Rush Limbaugh could become a part-owner of the St. Louis Rams, an intense debate has begun surrounding his persona. Read here and here.

Rudy's Yoga Lessons Part V

Written by Rudy on October 08, 2009 - 8:25 am -

Today is one of the Rudy Report's favorite days of the year as we proudly celebrate "National Take Your Teddy Bear To Work Day". But now: Yoga. Yup, it's that day of the week again. Let's not get lazy and continue to get in shape for Thanksgiving. The Rudy Report Yoga Guide is back with a new position. You have done a great job so far and now it's time to learn something much more challenging: the Halasana position. Our amateur yoga fan on the right is actually doing a fantastic job. Check it out and try it...


Minnesota could have brought Triplets instead of Twins to the Bronx last night and still would not have had a chance against the Yankees. The New York Yankees easily won Game 1 of the series 7-2 and the only reason why they aren't up 2-0 in the series yet is because only one game has been played so far. The New York Jets have acquired star wide receiver Braylon Edwards, sending Chansi Stuckey to Cleveland (poor guy). And, the San Francisco 49ers have finally reached a 6-year deal with Michael Crabtree.

The Rudy Report says Happy Birthday to Travis Pastrana, Zvonimir Boban, and Japanese hammer throwing legend Koji Murofushi (Murofushi is Japanese for "Hammer Time"). On this day in 1956, New York Yankee's Don Larsen pitched the only perfect game in a World Series. Have a great day, there's no new Dear Rudy yet, but have a look at some Oktoberfest facts in the Random Facts section!

LA Candidates - Majestic Realty is planning to build a NFL stadium in Los Angeles and will talk to the Chargers, Bills, Vikings, Jaguars, Rams, and Raiders about moving to LA. Read here.

Offer On The Table - Sources say that Mike Ashley has received a "significant offer" for Newcastle United from Barry Moat expected to be slightly below the GBP 100 million asking price. Read here.

Six Pack - Besides a group led by Dave Checketts and Rush Limbaugh, there is a total of six bidders for the St. Louis Rams, despite a tough economic climate. Read here.

Stamp Of Approval - The sale of the Chicago Cubs to the Ricketts family has been approved by Major League Baseball owners, leaving just one final hurdle. Read here.

No Recession In Soccer - Deloitte reports that attendance for soccer games in Europe has been stable and Champions League attendance even increased by 5%. Read here.

Win-Win Situation - The Economic Development Corporation is estimating that New York Yankees playoff home games will earn city businesses an additional $6.7 million. Read here.

Baltimore United - After years of fighting for a new stadium in or around Washington, MLS team DC United might get a future home in the city of Baltimore. Read here.

Warning - Major League Soccer commissioner Don Garber has warned the Premier League that it needs to control wages in order to avoid financial failure. Read here.

Baseball Playoffs

Written by Rudy on October 07, 2009 - 7:01 am -

The Rudy Report is proud to announce that it has received the Nobel Prize in the "Sports & Lifestyle" category for the 5th time in a row, today on "National Flower Day." The baseball playoffs are right around the corner and the Rudy Report, of course, is predicting that the Yankees will finally win the World Series again, probably against St. Louis. To prepare all of you for the upcoming games, here's a recent picture taken in non-Olympic city Chicago...


Italian cities Rome and Venice might become candidates for the 2020 Olympics. San Francisco might also join the race. In an unbelievably exciting one-game playoff, the Minnesota Twins became the last team to qualify for the post-season MLB playoffs (yes, a playoff to get to the playoffs). The Twins beat the Detroit Tigers at home in an extremely close game. They won in the 12th inning 6-5 and have to face the Yankees next. And, in the NHL, the Philadelphia Flyers beat Washington 6-5 in overtime, thanks to 3 goals by Mike Richards.

The Rudy Report says Happy Birthday to Charles Woodson, Evan Longoria (the desperate baseball player, not the desperate housewife), and Jermain Defoe. On this day in 1916, Georgia Tech defeated Cumberland University 222-0 in the most lopsided college football game in American history. Tech had 1,650 rushing yards for 28 touchdowns and didn't need to pass the ball at all. Have a great day, check out some older Dear Rudys, and find out when it's time to stop playing golf in the Funny Sports Quote section!

Sold Again - In an expedited procedure, Sulaiman Al Fahim has already sold Portsmouth FC to Saudi investor Ali Al Faraj, giving the club funds to operate and pay player salaries. Read here.

Premier League Basketball - A group of former NBA executives is setting up a basketball league in Great Britain, targeting Premier League clubs as potential team owners. Read here.

Not On The Move - The NHL Atlanta Thrashers have denied rumors that an investor group from Toronto would buy the franchise and move it to Winnipeg. Read here.

Foreign Interest - Albanian oil magnate Rezart Taci is apparently interested in buying AC Milan from Silvio Berlusconi whose company Fininvest has to deal with a fine. Read here.

Real Fans - The Newcastle United Supporters Trust is attempting to make fans part-owners of the relegated club after announcing that it raised GBP 20 million. Read here.

2016 Olympics Rio(t)

Written by Rudy on October 06, 2009 - 7:45 am -

The Rudy Report would like you to be a bit cautious when bringing up this day to your lawyer friends, because despite a congratulatory note, they might charge you a fee out of habit, today on "National Lawyers Day." As you know, Chicago did not get chosen to host the 2016 Olympics. When the results were announced, people went crazy and an angry mob started to vandalize the street of Chicago. The liberal media ignored the news, but the Rudy Report has an exclusive picture. If this is your car (or cactus), you'd probably be happy if you had a good lawyer...


Tonight, the Minnesota Twins will host the Detroit Tigers to determine which team will get the final playoff spot. It doesn't really matter, since the Yankees will win the World Series anyways. The New York Rangers took an unpopular trip to New Jersey, but, at least, they beat the Devils 3-2. On Monday Night Football, Brett Favre and the Vikings played against his former team, the Green Bay Packers. Minnesota won the game thanks to both an impressive defensive and offensive performance.

The Rudy Report says Happy Birthday to Ricky Hatton, Tony Dungy, Bruno Sammartino, and an athlete with amazing talent: Bowling Hall of Famer and 6-time Horseshoe World Champion Walter Ray Williams Jr. On this day in 1945, Billy Sianis and his goat were ejected from Wrigley Field during Game 4 of the World Series, starting the often-cited "Curse of the Billy Goat" for the Chicago Cubs. Have a great day, there's no new Dear Rudy yet, but find out why baseball players are smarter than football players in the Funny Sports Quote section!

Another Day, Another Deal - It looks like Portsmouth FC will be sold for a second time in just 2 months after the owner announces negotiations with Saudi investors. Read here.

Rush Offense - Several rumors suggest that Rush Limbaugh is set to join St. Louis Blues owner Dave Checketts' group bidding for the St. Louis Rams. Read here.

Home Shopping - New York Islanders owner Charles Wang says that as many as 8 cities have invited the team to move, which gives ownership leverage regarding a planned arena construction. Read here.

Desert 500? - George Gillett is apparently working on the creation of a NASCAR-style stock car racing league and several race tracks in the Middle East. Read here.

Failed Attempt - An American businessman has failed to complete a takeover deal for Italian Serie A club Bari due to the club's unwillingness to extend a deadline. Read here.