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Today January 20, 2017

Swimsuit Edition

Written by Rudy on February 11, 2009 - 10:46 am -

The Rudy Report wants to give all its readers hope, reassuring that nothing in the report will change, which you should strongly believe in, today on a very appropriate "National Don't Cry Over Spilled Milk Day." A-Rod continues to be the focus of the sports world, even in Elkhart, Indiana, as Sports Illustrated reveals Bar Refaeli on the cover of its "Swimsuit Edition." Since all the lame "Bar" jokes have been made by others, the Rudy Report will continue making fun of Alex Rodriguez. Not to be outdone by SI, the Rudy Report picked A-Roid (see picture below) to be on its cover of the famous RR Swimsuit edition.


Rumors about several interesting trades in the NBA have surfaced. The Mavericks, in need of a guard, are considering Stephon Marbury or Steve Nash, while the Suns would like to let Shaq or Amar'e Stoudemire go. Another rumor is the possibility of Michael Vick joining the new UFL as a quarterback for one of the teams. Meanwhile, Sean Avery has returned to NY Rangers AHL affiliate Hartford Wolfpack to prepare for his NHL comeback. The Knicks had their first game of the week (vs. Golden State), but the Rudy Report was afraid to look at the score. Sorry! In the NHL, the New York Islanders lost against the LA Kings 4-3 in a shoot-out.

The Rudy Report says Happy Birthday to Mike Richards, Rafael van der Vaart, and Australian netball great Vicki Wilson. On this day in 1937, a sit-down strike (the laziest version of striking) ended when General Motors recognized the United Auto Workers Union. Have a great day, read what Hank the Tank finally had to say about the new A-Rod scandal in today's Dear Rudy, and find out why the inventor of the phone never called his wife in the Random Fact section!

TV Monopoly - BSkyB has been able to purchase 5 out of 6 broadcasting rights packages for the English Premier League, essentially driving Setanta, which got one package, out of the competition. Read here.

US Racing - Formula One will most likely announce the addition of a new US racing team, which will be headquartered in North Carolina. Read here.

Looking Good - The public likes the design of the new Florida Marlins ballpark, but officials are starting to question the benefits of the $600 million project. Read here.

Soccer Darwinism - Bayern Munich's president expects several bankruptcies of clubs, especially in England, suggesting that some were not financially responsible. Read here.

If Looks Could...

Written by Rudy on February 10, 2009 - 8:43 am -

As A-Rod develops into the "Bernie Madoff of Sports", the Rudy Report stays focused on cutting edge information and only the very best news for you, today on "National Wave All Your Finger at Your Neighbor Day." By the way, if A-Rod is found guilty of taking steroids, he does not have to go to jail. Instead, it looks like he would be put on house arrest at Jose Canseco's house. Asked by reporters about the allegations, A-Rod (pictured below, for a second day in a row) had no comment, but this interesting look on his face...

Rod 1_1

Don't worry, there's also big news: Former Giants star Lawrence Taylor will participate in Season 8 of "Dancing with the Stars." In London, after struggling so far this season, Chelsea FC fired coach Luiz Felipe Scolari. Dutch coach Guus Hiddink is rumored to become his successor. The New York Rangers had to travel to New Jersey and lost against the Devils 3-0. Now they can at least travel back to Manhattan, while the Devils have to stay in Jersey...

The Rudy Report says Happy Birthday to Mark Spitz (the guy with the 7 drug-free Olympic gold medals), Ty Law, and Lance Berkman. On this day in 1996, IBM supercomputer "Deep Blue" defeated chessmaster Garry Kasparov for the first time. A recession version of the computer called "Deep Red" is now available... Have a fantastic day, check out today's Dear Rudy about Coldplay at the Grammy's, and educate yourself by reading a really interesting Random Fact of the Day!

Foreverton - The never-ending quest for a new Everton Football Club stadium continues with a final decision expected in June. Read here.

Little League - New football league, UFL, has announced that it will begin play in October with just 4 teams, all of which are partially owned by Nancy Pelosi's husband. Read here.

Spending Cap - The UEFA has confirmed that several committees are currently working on regulations that would restrict spending for European soccer clubs. Read here.

Relocation - The MLB Oakland Athletics will soon be ready to submit paperwork regarding a location adjustment for their new ballpark. Read here.

Arena For Sale - London's O2 Arena, the world's most successful live music venue, is on sale for approximately $50 million. Read here.

Germany No. 1

Written by Rudy on February 09, 2009 - 7:17 am -

A study by the BBC has found that Germany is the world's favorite country. Who would have thought that? In any case, none of this would have been possible without the help of Germany's shining star, David Hasselhoff. I guess, anything is possible, especially on "National Girls and Women in Sports Day." Shocking news have reached the Yankees, when a Sports Illustrated report stated that Alex "A-Roid" Rodriguez (see picture below) tested positive for steroids in 2003. The delusion you get from taking steroids would explain why A-Rod dated Madonna. Why did it take so long to figure this out? Clearly, there were signs, just like there were signs for Bernie Madoff's fraud. The Rudy Report has confidential information that Madoff once gave his scheme away, also in 2003, when ordering at an Asian restaurant: "I'd like to get the King Crab with sweet Ponzi sauce.....I mean, PONZU, Ponzu sauce..."


There are rumors that bad boy and Vogue intern Sean Avery might return to New York. Not for a role in MTV's "The City", but to actually play for the Rangers again. We'll see what happens. In the Premier League, Manchester United and Liverpool won their games, the Arsenal-Tottenham North London Derby ended 0-0, and Chlesea also only had a draw. This weekend, the Islanders lost against Tampa, and the Rangers had a loss against Dallas. The NFL Pro Bowl took place in Hawaii with the NFC beating the AFC 30-21 and Larry Fitzgerald earning MVP honors. The New York Knicks lost in the very last second against Portland, ending a rough week, which included losses against Boston, Cleveland, and the Lakers.

The Rudy Report says Happy Birthday to Vladimir Guerrero (Russian first name, Hispanic last name. Suspicious, huh?), Darren Ferguson, and figure skater Irina Slutskaya (don't judge her by the last name). On this day in 1900, the tennis Davis Cup (a.k.a. this one tournament that nobody watches) was established. Have a great week, read the Dear Rudy to find out which bank will fail next, and see what Charles Barkley had to say in today's Funny Sports Quote!

Desert Sox - Chicago White Sox owner Jerry Reinsdorf has said that he is not interested in buying the struggling NHL Phoenix Coyotes. Read here.

Gerry Sutcliffe Equal Pay Act - UK's Minister of Sports, Gerry Sutcliffe, is asking the Premier League to evenly distribute media money all the way down to grassroots projects. Read here.

No Worries - The New York Mets emphasize that the franchise is still financially sound, despite owner's involvement in Madoff case. Read here.

Double the Cost, Half the Fun - The construction for the brand-new London 2012 Olympic Stadium is expected to see costs doubling from original estimates. Read here.

Bad Timing - A year ago, the Dallas Cowboys had good chances to sign the biggest naming rights deal ever for their new stadium, which changed because of the recession. Read here.

Bad Bank for Sports

Written by Rudy on February 06, 2009 - 11:13 am -

In order to rescue the economy, the US government has come up with a "bad bank" concept for sports & lifestyle reports. Bad and boring articles will be dumped in the "bad bank" called, while the best assets, reports, and commentary will be in the Rudy Report. It's not easy, but Rudy will do what's best for the country at all times, like today on "National Pay for a Compliment Day." That's right, nothing is free anymore, except for Bank of America shares and, of course, the Rudy Report. Things will get better, but there are still some hurdles (see picture below) in the way...


Nobody had a record-scoring night against the Knicks at Madison Square Garden last night, but that's mostly because there was no game. In the NBA's top game of the week, the Boston Celtics lost against the LA Lakers in overtime with Kobe Bryant scoring 26 points. David Beckham has underscored his desire to stay in Milan, which means breaking his MLS contract. Manchester City player Micah Richards has been charged with assault after yet another "Premier League player getting into a fight" incident. Michael Phelps has been suspended for 3 months by USA Swimming after his very own rendition of "Smoke on the Water." And the New York Islanders lost 3-2 against Florida.

The Rudy Report says Happy Birthday to Ty Warren, Tottenham's Darren Bent, and Australian cricket grandmaster Brad Hogg (not to be confused with Brad Pigg, sorry, I meant Brad Pitt). On this day in 1936, the 4th Olympic Winter Games were opened in Garmisch-Partenkirchen, Germany. Have a great weekend, get some clarification about one of the Rudy Reports posted pictures in today's Dear Rudy, and check out the Random Fact of the Day section to find out which war was the shortest ever!

Captain Canada - NHL Players Association director Paul Kelly says that the NHL should consider relocating teams to Canada to help league financially. Read here.

Finally Interested - After months of trying to find new investors, Premier League club Portsmouth FC has received several expressions of interest. Read here.

Phoenix or Nashville? - Canadian businessman Brett Wilson has said he wants to invest in the NHL Nashville Predators, but experts think he actually wants to buy the Phoenix Coyotes. Read here.

Investing In Steel - Pittsburgh Steelers owner Dan Rooney is thinking about adding venture capitalist J.B. Smith to his group of investors. Read here.

Soccer Cred - Miami's strong efforts to land a Major League Soccer franchise have increased the city's credibility and chance. Read here.

New Budget - Formula One's world governing body FIA has proposed steep budget cuts for teams in order to deal with current crisis. Read here.

The Good Old Days

Written by Rudy on February 05, 2009 - 5:48 am -

The beginning of every calendar year always rings in tax season. And if you're getting a little too nervous about that, you're probably nominated for a government position.... Don't worry, the Rudy Report does not have your taxes on its mind and only wants the best for you, proving it again today on "National It's OK to be Different Day." So this has nothing to do with sports, but certainly with lifestyle: In case you are a Wall Street CEO or aspiring to become one, say goodbye to the good old (pay) days...


Yesterday was "National Letter of Intent Day" and the most talented high school football players were signed by big schools. As every year, Alabama landed the top recruiting class followed by LSU and Ohio State. Quarterback Tom Savage became one of Rutgers' top picks. It looks like former Yankee Bobby Abreu might be on his way to the Chicago White Sox. After allowing Kobe Bryant to score 61 points against them, the Knicks were generous to LeBron James as well. James scored 52 points in Cleveland's 107-102 victory over New York.

The Rudy Report says Happy Birthday to World Footballer of the Year Cristiano Ronaldo, Roberto Alomar, and Roger Staubach. On this day in 1997, the so-called "Big Three" banks (today known as "Not So Big Anymore Three") announced the creation of a $71 million fund to aid Holocaust survivors and their families. Am I the only one thinking Madoff Securities in this context? Have a fantastic day, check out Leggy Brit's Dear Rudy regarding Freak Sports Injuries, and find out why Cindy Crawford deserved to be in today's Funny Sports Quote of the Day!

NHL In Trouble - NHL Commissioner Gary Bettman has always said that the league is fine from a financial standpoint, but a new report disagrees, suggesting contraction to fight crisis. Read here.

Still On, Kind Of - Citi has stated that the company is still committed to its New York Mets sponsorship, but might try to modify terms of the deal. Read here.

System Change - MLB Commissioner Bud Selig is arguing that baseball's current economic system needs changes in order to survive in the long run. Read here.

New Rights - British Sky Broadcasting (BSkyB) has been able to acquire 4 out of 6 Premier League TV broadcasting packages, solidifying the channel's leadership position in the UK. Read here.

Mission Accomplished - The sale of the San Diego Padres has been completed, giving full control of the franchise to new owner Jeff Moorad and his group of investors. Read here.

Indian Sponsorship - Manchester United is said to be close to signing a EUR 16 million per year sponsorship deal with Indian company Religare. Read here.

Appeal Decision - A Court of Appeals, siding with NHL Vancouver Canucks owner Francesco Aquilini, has confirmed that there was no wrongdoing in the sale of the franchise. Read here.