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Today September 23, 2017
Dear Rudy

In order to remain hip, cool, young, informative, and most of all responsive to the readers, the Rudy Report has created “Dear Rudy”.
THE place where readers speak out. In this section, YOU, the reader, can submit comments or questions to the Rudy Report that will be posted either with your name or anonymously. Where appropriate, the Rudy Report might have an answer or a follow-up comment. However, “Dear Rudy” is much more than just a blog for readers. Here, you can also submit a note if you are looking for a roommate for your apartment or if anybody wants to adopt your dog or something like that. This section might be empty on certain days if there are no comments. So speak out and let Rudy know what’s on your mind! (Submit your comments in the text box at the bottom of this page)

Loaded Ball 

Written by Hank the Tank on April 14, 2014 - 5:31 am -

Dear Rudy,

I am sure you were sitting close and saw first-hand last night (Note: Thursday, April 10th) the defeat handed to the bloody Red Sox. I know, it made my day. Now, there was a big deal made of a substance on (New York Yankees pitcher Michael) Pineda's hand. Really give the guy a break, maybe they were out of paper towels or soap in the bathroom. It happens to all of us. I see it as the Red Sox being babies looking for an excuse to why they lost. As for loaded balls, heck I say let them put whatever they can on a ball. For all these years they have been loading anything possible in their arms to hit balls. If I were a pitcher, personally, I would go with the invisible ink spotted ball or a PBJ ball without the crust. What would you think is the best way to load a ball?

Hank the Tank

Loaded Ball 

Written by Rudy on April 14, 2014 - 5:31 am -

Dear Hank the Tank,

it is good to have you back in 2014, asking the baseball questions that really matter! To start off, I want to acknowledge that you are making a good and true point about paper towels. Yankee Stadium especially is known for constantly being out of paper and soap in its bathrooms. But what can you expect when you only pay $150 for bleacher seats? And who is to say that it is Michael Pineda's fault? It is more than likely he was so nice to shake a little Red Sox fan's hand before the game. We all know that Red Sox fans eat and wipe their butt with the same hand. So possibly a nice gesture gone wrong? Another thing to consider is that Pineda hails from the Dominican Republic. The Dominican Republic is located in the Caribbean between the Filthy Islands and St. Dirt. For Dominican standards, Pineda was surprisingly clean! I mean, have you seen the Puerto Rican Day Parade (which is a term used interchangeably with Dominican Republic Day Parade)? In terms of loaded balls, there are several options that the Rudy Report favors to increase strike out and winning chances. The most effective is probably the Hairy Ball, which is mostly practiced by these pitchers with these abnormal beards (Anyone else suspecting beard transplants here?!?). In addition, there is the Season-Ending Ball, which is loaded with ripped apart New York Mets season tickets. This ball is always talked up highly before each season, and when thrown it implodes almost instantly. It is also sometimes referred to as the "No Change-Up." And, finally, there is the so-called A-Rod Ball, for which a pitcher uses spit from Alex Rodriguez. This is Rudy's favorite type of loaded ball. It will allow the pitcher to throw a super fastball that looks in great shape at first, but that all of a sudden turns into a mean sinker and drops to below-ground level before even reaching the plate. While people may sue you for using this loaded ball, there is a high chance that the ball will sue right back.

Play on,

Rudy 

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